Hearts Burst Into Fire
by aline.c
Summary: Deidara love story
1. Itachi

**1**

She had been walking for a while now, her brown hair falling carelessly on her face as she looked down. She had been followed for some time, but her chaser hadn't got unnoticed.

With a graceful move she turned around.  
She crossed her arms over her chest and pouted.

"C'mon, I know you're out there. Might as well come out."  
Nothing happened.  
"Fine, have it your way then. _Katon, Housenka no Jutsu!"_ she said her light brown eyes narrowing.

The bolts of fire shot through the forest, and some trees lit up, nothing else happened.  
She turned around again.

As she turned she saw a black thing in front of her, she looked up. Someone was standing there, but she didn't back off.

"Finally" she sighted as her gaze met crimson red eyes.

He looked her down, no forehead protector to be seen anywhere. She ought to be a missing-nin. Itachi couldn't help but wonder why did she know a Jutsu from the Uchiha Clan, but that wasn't part of the mission. He smirked arrogantly at her, she was pretty feisty considering she was no taller than 5'3.

"I didn't come here to fight you"  
"Then _why_ **are** you here?"  
"I'm here to recruit you"

She stood there silently, still looking at him, not moving an inch. Why did this have to happen? Especially that night, the one she decided to give up on everyone and everything. Black cloak, red clouds. Something click on her head, he was part of the Akatsuki, and the Sharingan could only mean he was an Uchiha.

"So that's why you're wearing that outfit. For a second there I thought I was going to be abducted into a fashion freak show." Itachi was slightly thrown aback at this. What the hell was she on? Missin-nin, calling him Uchiha, Itachi a freak.  
"You should learn some manners, Leader-sama may want you to join us, but I won't hesitate on killing you."  
"So do it"

She knew she was pushing him too far, she didn't mean for her answer to come all snotty, but it had. She was acting like a three year old spoiled brat, but she was too far out to care.

She didn't stop looking at the crimson eyes, which were the only thing she could see of him. He didn't have the time or the patience to deal with teenagers. Itachi took a deep breath and sighted closing his hand over her neck and pushing her on to a tree. She had been lifted several feet from the ground fighting to breath, she hadn't seen that one coming, why was he so fast, and what did the Akatsuki wanted with her?

"You can either come with me willingly or by force, it's up to you" he felt her relax on to his grip.  
"Fine" she managed to let out as he let go of her and she collided on the ground. She stood up and proceeded to remove the dust from her clothes, his left eyebrow raised slightly but she didn't notice.

Of course, she had to be beyond wasted precisely tonight. How she'd got there she wasn't sure, but she followed the man nonetheless.

He was looking at her from the corner of his eye, something in the way she walked let him know she wasn't sober. They walked for a couple of hours, but as they got deeper into the forest she could barely drag herself straight.

Just as he had been expecting her to she tripped and fell, he stopped for a second but she didn't get up. Great now he was expected to carry her.

Itachi knelt down to her side, she was asleep and positively drunk, he really didn't have time for this. Her make-up made her look like she was dead. He touched her neck to try and find a pulse, just to make sure everything was alright. Shaking his head violently he picked her up and carried her on his back. They weren't too far away from the Akatsuki headquarters anyhow.


	2. Akatsuki

**2**

"Who's the girl, un?" a low voice called from across the room. It wasn't the first time she had woken up somewhere unknown.

She could feel people looking at her, but she didn't open her eyes. She tried to recall what had led her there. Suddenly she felt something touch her hip bone, out of instinct she pulled out a kunai and held it on to the intruders neck.

"Watch your hands or loose them"  
"Tobi didn't mean to scare you. Tobi is a good boy"

She looked around. It really was a freak show. There was a blue dude that looked like a shark, one who was part white, part black and part plant, a blond dude with blue eyes who was playing with clay and had the weirdest hair do ever and the one who had just touched her, he was wearing a wooden mask. She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "Please, oh please, tell me I've done too much acid and have gone mad" she thought opening her eyes. Nope, they were all real.

"Leader-sama wants a word with you"

A familiar voice broke the silence and everyone directed their eyes up to him. He was the one who brought her here.

Deidara smiled at her as she walked by, noticing how her eyes fell upon his hands, "Wait did his hand just smirk at me? Did it?? Oh shit!" he grinned all three smiles as she crashed into the wall, she had been definitely checking him out.

She prayed nobody had noticed, but all of them did and as soon as she entered into the office they all broke into laughter.

They were in the room for little over an hour. Tobi had his left ear almost stuck to the door trying to listen, without much luck.

"Shh… I think I hear something" he whispered trying to get his head closer to the door if that was possible.  
"A girl with nothing to lose has everything to gain" he hard her say, then he fell with a deaf sound on the floor as the door swung open hitting him hard.

"Ok.." she said walking past Tobi with an eyebrow raised.

The Akatsuki's headquarters was enormous, she went past the living room and turned where she'd been instructed to by Pein. To her surprise the place was pretty bright and… cozy? She entered the third room on the left.

A black cloak and a ring were waiting for her on the bed. She put them on and looked at herself on the mirror sheepishly. Someone knocked at her door and it opened slowly.

That was the first time they ever spoke. But it felt right, she couldn't be more out of her element there, but it didn't matter.


	3. Closer

**3**

Deidara looked at her and nodded approvingly as he rested his back against the wall.

"You look good, yeah"  
"You think?- he nodded his head again "I think it makes me loose my shape"

Deidara stepped closer and eyed her down.

"Trust me, it doesn't"  
"Liar"

She stepped away from the mirror and took the cloak off, revealing her beautiful figure. Black small t-shirt and black boy shorts, she took out a small bottle hidden on one of the bags strapped on her leg.

"Well, at least I got this"

The girl sat on the bed playfully and took a zip from the bottle, grimacing a little. Her green drink was awfully bitter, she tilted her head on to the left and smile at Deidara, throwing the bottle at him. He opened the bottle and raised an eyebrow inquiringly then, he drank.

"Absynthe" he said a slight glimmer on his one visible eye.  
"Yeah, it's my poison of choice, I have no sugar though shame on me"  
"Really, h'mm?"

He started walking toward her and sat on the bed next to her.

"Yeah, you get spunk and fire at the same time"  
He frowned at these words, then smiled. This girl couldn't be for real.

"Where are you from?"  
"Nowhere…"  
"Missing-nin, yeah"  
"Pretty much, so I take it you're from Iwagakure?"  
"Yeah"  
"Nice, I always had a thing for rockers"

She smiled at him and then froze. She couldn't have said that but judging by the look on Deidara's face she had.

"Wow, no more Absynthe for me, I'm starting to loose sense, sorry" Deidara however took another zip and carried on as if he hadn't heard her, he didn't want to let this chance slip, he wanted to know why she was there. Of course the fact she had almost admitted she had a thing for him didn't hurt either.  
"Why'd you leave, un?"  
"Problems with a male."  
"Boyfriend?"  
"Kindof."  
"And you left him, just like that, h'mm?"  
"It's the only way to leave. I don't love you anymore. Goodbye."  
"Supposing you do still love them?"  
"You don't leave."  
"You've never left someone you still love, un?"  
"Nope."


	4. Bang

**4**

Her pale skin had acquired a red shade on her cheeks and her  
gaze was a little blurry. Deidara took one last zip and got up.  
She grabbed his arm before he started walking away, he turned around and looked at her.

"Nite" she said with a slight lost smile.  
Deidara smiled back and grabbed her hand placing his lips upon it.

He walked out and closed the door, relaxing his body against it.  
Then, placed his left hand on his forehead and closed his eyes.

"DEIDARA-SENPAI!!"  
"Oh, not now… h'mm" with a graceful movement he stepped into his room and closed the door on Tobi's face.

Deidara took off his cloak and threw it on a chair next to a black wooden table, where he used to sit down and sculpt.  
His bed had remained unmade for over a week, he hadn't had the time to do it just yet as he'd been gone for missions.

His mind could be completely fucked up, but he appreciated order, as any true artist knows, discipline is needed in order to create, and chaos kept him uneasy.  
But truth was this time he was too tired to care. His shirt came off and he threw himself on the bed closing his eyes, hair falling messily over his pillow.

Six weeks went by without much interaction among the Akatsukis, Pein had been giving missions to everyone  
and the headquarters was almost always empty.  
However, in spite of their obvious differences they all had one thing in common.  
Their love didn't rest on anyone.

But all these, mentally unstable S-ranked criminals and missing-nins had become a family, and she was the brand new member of it.  
Out of routine more than anything, since she spent almost every waking hour with either one of them.  
Still, there was one particular member she wanted to waste time with.

Deidara fed his palm hand a little bit of red clay, and it spat out a butterfly that started flying away and entered the third room on the left which was just across the hall to his own room,  
it floated around for a few seconds just enough to catch the newest member of the Akatsuki eyes.

BANG!!  
"AAAAAAH!! WTF!!?"

An alarmed voice was heard throughout the whole headquarters, she hadn't got used to random explosions like the rest of them had.  
A small silhouette approached Deidara from behind, as he gazed absentmindedly at the red clay. "Play with fire" she whispered seductively on his left ear, "-and you'll get burned"

He turned around to face her, ready to throw a witty comeback, but he was interrupted by a red string of fire that was shot to his face, fading out just an inch away from it.  
She'd never been to his room before and he felt slightly exposed at this. She broke the eye contact and proceeded to look around.

Deidara waited for her to be done with an uneasy smile as he tapped his fingers on the table.

"Something, something explosion… well, you **are** an artist, I'll give you that" she was talking more to herself than to him, walking silently across the room. Taking in everything her eyes could see. That was a pretty weird way to compliment him, but he smiled nonetheless.  
"Are **you** an artist, h'mm?"  
"Not really, no"  
He looked down slightly disappointed.  
She turned to face him again, walking towards him and stopping inches away from his face.  
"I'm a fcking work of art."

Something in the way she looked at him let him know she really meant it.


	5. Fire

**5**

"A work of art, un?" a smirk crossed his face as his hand reached out for her face and caressed her cheek. "And what would you mean with _art_, h'mm"  
"The beauty of that single, fleeting moment of explosion."

He hadn't seen that one coming, she smiled at his blank expression.

"I heard you talking to Sasori-danna the other night" she said with a slight chuckle, his hand was still on her cheek, Deidara smiled broadly. "But really, I believe destruction holds the perfect beauty"

She stepped back, realizing a little too late that she was the one playing with fire. Love was out of questions, was his touch the one to give her that feeling in her stomach? She couldn't have that, she didn't even know the man, it was out of question.

Deidara kept looking at her the whole time, she didn't need to say a word, he had heard it all, her eyes had told him everything.

"What?-

_He stood up and leaned in, his slightly open lips caught hers. She kissed back but he could feel the doubt in her mind._

"Deidara?"

The artist shook his head as if to shake something off. He had imagined it, but it was true, she wasn't ready. Not yet.

"You died"  
"huh?"  
"Yeah, like you were here then out, I'm that interesting. Huh?" he shook his head.  
"It's not that, un"  
"Yeeeah"

If her smirk was playful then why did her eyes looked slightly hurt? Was she that fragile? or was it her ego? He might be an expert on how to please a lady, but he always found it hard to keep up with women minds.

"You can sit, you know? They won't bite, yeah"  
"No? Aw… that's too bad-

There she went again. Now he knew what Itachi meant with annoyingly hot.


	6. Dinner

**6**

She got closer to him and placed an innocent kiss on his cheek.

"Good night, pyro"

The events that followed during the next six weeks were pretty normal, considering their situation. After three months of non-stop exploitation Pein had given them four weeks off from Akatsuki missions, which came like heaven to most of them.

It was their first night off, and they wandered around like dogs without owners, not quite certain about what to do with their newly acquired freedom. Kakuzu of course wasn't a part of the wandering crowd, as he'd already left to bounty hunt full time, he was thrilled, so thrilled in fact he hadn't hurt Hidan at all that day, or anyone for that matter.

Just because they were murderers didn't mean they didn't appreciate the trivial things of life, even if some of them had a nearly extinct sense of fun and party time, they needed to celebrate, and she had just what they needed.

"Dinner's ready."

Kisame, Deidara, Sasori and Itachi stopped talking and turned their heads to her. The slamming of a door broke the awkward silence, replacing it with a loud, deep voice.

"Un-fcking-believable!, who the hell made this?"

Hidan quickly appeared behind her and looked at them questioningly.

"You seriously, cooked us dinner?" Kisame asked very surprised.  
"Yeah, like I knew none of you guys would do it and… well, we need like… a celebration?, so I figured... why not…" her cheeks started turning red as they looked at her with gleaming eyes. "Pshhh… stop staring at me!!" she thought, her face growing hotter.

Itachi was the first to stand up, and walk to the dining room, followed by the others. It really looked delicious, how long had it taken her to make all that? The Akatsukis sat down, but remained silent and still.

"It's not poisoned or anything…" she said rather annoyed.

The table was illuminated by candles, and everything was placed perfectly. Some seats were empty though, Pein, Konan, Tobi, Zetsu and Kakuzu were gone. She sat next to Deidara and glared at them.

"Fine, don't eat. See if I care."  
" Itadakimasu" Deidara said as he started to dig in.  
"Itadakimasu" chorused the rest.

They ate, talked, drank and enjoyed themselves. In spite of everything, they truly were gentlemen.  
Psychotic, yes. But who wasn't?  
It was getting late and the couldn't take another bite out of anything, there was nothing left to drink, and they were well, a little tired. Slowly they all went back to their rooms.

"I didn't know you cooked, un"  
"Yeah, well, there's a lot of things of me you don't know"  
"Right back at you, yeah"  
"Oh, really? Well, let's hear then."  
"Let me show you"

_Deidara stepped closer put his hands on either side of her waist and pulled her to him kissing her lips roughly._

"Aline?"  
"Yeah, sorry… what?"

She shook her head and stared at him, she had doze off, it had just been her imagination.


	7. The First Taste

**7**

"I'm that interesting, h'mm'" he said with a mock of indignation.  
"Oh shut up!!... and come here-" her voice lowered dangerously as she leaned into his ear, whispering "- I have something for you" She grabbed his hand and led him into her room, once they were inside she closed the door and started rummaging through a pile of things on the table. Deidara sat on the bed, as he looked down noticing several pieces of paper, doodles here and there, dragons and… was that him? He picked it up by mere instinct, it was definitively him. She was still going through her stuff and hadn't noticed what Deidara had seen, he placed the picture on the floor again and laid down, smiling dreamily.

"Here- she threw a large green bottle at him and stepped closer bringing two small glasses and a metallic box. Aline sat down next to him and took the bottle, pouring some on each glass, sugar was spilled on top of two tiny spoons that rested on top of each them.  
"Now check this out"

She placed her hand in front of her face leaning on to the glasses and blew throw he thumb and index finger. A small shot fire shoot throw them burning the sugar.

"Nice, h'mm"  
"Here's to us"

Deidara smiled broadly and drank up, the green beverage burning his throat leaving a fuzzy feeling down into him, stopping at his stomach, the void he felt though had nothing to do with alcohol.

The same process repeated itself three more times during that night, through laughs, and stories shared, the whole world seemed to be asleep completely shut off away from them. The red candles that were lighting the room slowly started to melt, until they were replaced by the faint hint of sun rays that started to announce morning.

"Damn, I didn't realize it was so late already!"  
"I hadn't realized it was so early, yeah. But I should probably go to bed, sleep your poison off, h'mm." He smiled suggestively at his last sentence, gesture that was mimicked as a response.  
"Yeah, I should too."

Deidara sat back up from her lap and she crawled next to him. "Nite"

He leaned in to kiss her cheek goodnight, but to her surprise they both leaned in for each others lips. "Nite" she said blushing deeply and killing herself mentally "Fck fck fck, how can you be SO stupid!!" she thought. He stood up with a dumbfounded look and made his way out, a cheesy grin on his face.


	8. Art Is

**8**

"Pshh, don't make such a fuzz about it, he probably doesn't even remember" her mind was forcing images of the night before into her head. She was making her way into the living room, where she wouldn't have to be with Deidara alone. Her body collided with something big and soft.  
"What the ---"  
"Watch it, Aline-chan"  
"Itachi-san?.. oh yeah sorry"  
"Have you just woke up?"  
"Uhh…"  
"It's nearly six o'clock"  
"Naaaaaah"

She turned her head to the window, sun was starting to set. "Itachi-san was right, and now he's going to start asking questions. Ok, ok, keep it cool. Breath, yeah. No worries, just… deny, deny, deny".  
"Pshh, you're right."  
"Hnn."  
"Sooooo, what's shakin'?"

An eyebrow raised of the Uchiha's face. His tall, strong body standing proudly, in front of her, carelessly cool. He didn't answer. "Hmm.. ok"

She continued to make her way to the living room hastily and sat down on an elegant black extremely big couch."Hey Kisame, you wouldn't happen to have a cigarette with you?"  
"I don't smoke."  
"Yeah, I new that"

Deidara walked to the living room and passed Itachi heading over to the table next to the couch. He tried his best not to look at Itachi but it was too late, he could feel Itachi's glare go from him to Aline and back. He knew.

"I was just, yeah" he grabbed a small bag of clay from his pocket and sat down.  
"If you're going to start blowing up things you better go outside."  
"If _you_ **don't** want to see things "blow up" **you** can go outside, _fishboy_"  
"That's it" Aline stood up in front of both of them one arm raised on each direction. "If you both could shut up then that would be great, my head's killing me"  
"Moral conscience, hnn?" everyone stared at Itachi.  
"Huh?"  
"It's just funny you guys just woke up, busy night I take it."

Aline blushed a million shades of red at Itachi's words, he knew. Kisame looked confused and decided to go back into his room instead, swearing under his breath.

"Jealousy or envy?"  
"None, you silly little girl"  
"Riiight"  
"I just thought you could do better than that"  
"Better than what?"

Deidara kept looking back and ford to one and the other, if looks could kill both of them would be dead. Itachi stepped closer to Aline who still was standing up; he walked over until he was dangerously close.

"Better, than him."

That was too much, first Itachi defeats him, making him join Akatsuki now he was bragging about being superior. This couldn't lead anywhere good.

"Just think about it for a second, and make the right choice"  
"You're right..." she said nodding her head slowly as if suddenly she knew all the answers, she stepped closer to Itachi and pulled on his shirt a sexy smirk on her lips. "Say Itachi-san what's your opinion on art?" Deidara shot her a death glare, what did she think she was doing?  
"Hnn?"  
"I think Art is a Bang,-" Deidara, slightly thrown aback couldn't help but smile at those words, his face lighting up again. "-I think Art is a _Bang_ and I should get me some... _if_ you know what I mean" she winked and smiled suggestively at Itachi, then her hand stretched out and she turned to Deidara. "You coming or what?"  
Deidara took her hand and led her outside, leaving behind Itachi, who hadn't still quite comprehended what just had happened.


	9. Unholy Confessions

**9**

They slowly walked outside, occasionally glancing behind them to see if Itachi was following, he had already left. She let go of his hand.

"See you around"

What she meant by _around_ he didn't know. "What the fck is wrong with women" Deidara thought as he watched her leave. He hadn't done anything wrong, maybe she was expecting something else. What did she want from him? But most importantly what did he want from her?

He'd never got too attached to anyone, he always thought that whole happily ever after, love you forever thing was stupid, an excuse for people to feel safe. Why would someone want to plan something so fragile as life, something that could be lost in any second. How could you promise you'd feel the same way for someone forever? He hated the whole concept of love and beauty the world had established, how could they be established when they were abstract concepts, just like art.

She drove him insane, then how couldn't he help thinking about her?

Several days had gone by and things were back to normal again, they still had two weeks off, and the Akatsukis were surprisingly happy that day. Aline and Konan were cooking, which only meant everyone was going to be properly fed, hence the good mood.  
Dinner was almost ready, and all of the boys had been thrown out of the kitchen, since they had the bad habit of eating things before they were ready.

"So, what's going on with you and Deidara?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"I mean, you spend a lot of time together"  
"Naaah"  
"Do you like him?-"

A violent shade of red spread on her face and she felt her heart skip fast, if she knew then they all knew, and she didn't care if anyone knew unless Deidara knew, then he'd be forced to do something meaning everyone would constantly be asking about how they were, or he could do nothing meaning he wasn't interested and she would be publicly ditched.

"-yeah, that's what I thought"  
"How'd you know?"  
"I don't know, I mean you're not obvious at all!" said Konan sarcastically.  
"Ohhh shut up!"  
"Just imagine what he can do with _those_ hands"  
"I _know_, right?"

Deidara was going to his room when he heard Konan and Aline giggling. This was his perfect chance, she had got him last time, when she hugged him just to sneak ice-cubes under his shirt. He knelt down and started crawling onto the kitchen silently.

"---at all!" said Konan sarcastically.  
"Ohhh shut up!"  
"Just imagine what he can do with those hands"

Were they talking about him? He'd never approved much of eavesdropping, but he was completely sure they were talking about him.

"I _know,_ right?"

A kunai slipped of his bag and clacked on the floor. The girls stopped talking and Konan walked towards where the sound had come from. Oh man, he was in trouble. Aline gave her back to them and pretended to be looking for plates trying to hide her red cheeks.

"Thought we told you to stay away from the kitchen?"  
"Um, yeah I was just going to set the table if that's ok, yeah"

He was such a great liar, but she wouldn't let it slip this time.

"Oh, how considerate! We'd love that right Aline? You can also do the dishes you know, since you're all generous and that. Sneaking up in here behind our backs and listening to private conversations!"  
"What? No, I wasn't spying, I,-- just,—**fine**!" he growled grabbing the mantelpiece and starting to set the table.

He went next to Aline in order to grab the plates, she was looking down or more like forcing herself to look down, but he could see the hint of blush still on her cheeks, he smiled.

"Oi! Hurry up, we haven't got all day you know?"

Aline turned her back on her and shot a death glare to Konan who did nothing but smile.


	10. Midless Self Indulgence

**10**

Deidara had finished setting up the table and went back to the living room with the others.

"Oh my fcking god!" she started bursting out into a nervous maniac laughter. Konan looked at her through the corner of her eye smirking with a slight hint of fear on her face.

The 11 Akatsukis sat on the table, Pein on the head of course, Zetsu on his left, Konan on his right. Aline sat next to Konan and as far as Deidara as possible. She needed to keep her cool, convince herself it wasn't such a big deal that he just had heard them talk about him on a… sort of more "interesting" way.

"And what is he smiling at?" she thought trying not to look at Deidara and failing miserably. He had that self confident, mindless self indulgent, king of the world look on his eye. "God, I hate it!"

The S-ranked criminals stuffed themselves like there was no tomorrow, good food, good wine, pleasant company, very rarely did they ever get along so well.  
"So she likes me, yeah" Deidara thought noticing how Aline was trying her hardest to look interested on the conversation and not meeting his gaze. He was amused, and she was amusing.

_After a little too much alcohol they started playing a game: I've never ever.  
(note: you say I've never ever ________ [ i.e. done drugs ] and if you have you drink. Fun when you wanna pick up information and/or get someone really drunk)  
_  
Hidan was wasted beyond recognition and let's just say everyone had juicy information about one another, especially on Zetsu.

"Ok, I've never ever-"Deidara smirked evilly "had fantasized about someone on this room, h'mm"

Everyone remained still, looking at each other, waiting for someone to drink.  
Out of the sudden Deidara raised his glass and placed it on his lips, looking sideways, but still very noticeably at Aline.  
She also took a sip, the Akatsukis kept glancing to one another, trying to figure out what that meant, Deidara grinned at her, the way it had come out made it look like a confession of fantasizing about him. She put her glass back down and smirked.

"I didn't want to admit it--" she said with an innocent voice that didn't match her lust filled gaze at Deidara "--but those gills of yours are HAWT!" she ended the sentence in a really high pitched tone, turning her gaze Kisame making everyone burst into laughter. Kisame rolled his eyes, it had been a good joke, he had to give her that.  
"Guess, I'm going to have to call it a night" he said with slightly visible blush on his blue skin.  
"Yeah, me too"  
"Same here"  
"Oh fck no! It was just fcking starting to get good! Sht! There's a thing or two I fcking want to find out!"

Hidan look pleadingly Zetsu and Sasori who were already standing up, ready to leave. The rest stared at Hidan, what kind of sick thing was he expecting them to confess? Hell no, they could barely look at each other with a straight face anymore, if this kept going they wouldn't be able to look at each other in the same way.  
Tobi was ordered to clean up the table and Deidara slowly made his way to the kitchen, followed by Konan's death glare, that was the price he had to pay for what he had heard earlier. Only Itachi, Hidan, Pein, Aline and Konan were in the dining room, an hour later they all had run out of alcohol, Pein and Konan left the table soon after.

Deidara reappeared back as Konan made her way out, Tobi was fast asleep on the kitchen's floor. He looked at the three of them. Itachi, Hidan and Aline all with a slightly lost gaze.

"Wow, what's with the shirt?--" her voice was slow, and her eyes grew bright as she eyed him down. "-or lack of it"  
"What do you mean, h'mm, it's the same shirt I always wear!" he was slightly disappointed by this, after all they had lived together for quite a while now. He stepped closer and sat on the chair next to her.  
"Yeah, but like… it's shorter"  
"No it isn't"  
"Really?"  
"Yeah, h'mm"  
"Oh my fcking Jashin! Will you shut the hell up?"  
"Huh?" they both replied eyeing Hidan with a dumbfound expression. Hidan sighted heavily.  
"Don't be jealous, sweetie you know you've got the shirtless hot killer spot taken"  
"HUH?"

Now the three men were looking at her with a dumbfound expression.

"What?" she asked innocently.  
"I better go put a shirt on though; I don't want anyone fantasizing about me"  
Itachi, Hidan and Aline broke into maniac laughter, Deidara shot them all death glares, he didn't find it funny.  
"But seriously, who do you fantasize about?"  
"Just fcking give it up already, h'mm!!"  
"You're right, hnn. Aline-chan who do you fantasize about?"  
"Pssh, you're on my side Itachi-san! We're supposed to make HIM suffer… not me!"  
"No but fcking seriously, who was the lucky motherfcker?"  
"Blaaagh, night!!" she said eyes fixed at Deidara.

She stood up and kissed the three of them on the cheek, then went out into the living room. Perhaps if she hang out there for a bit she could "accidentally" bump him on the way to her room, he was after all just across the hall… Her thoughts got interrupted by a loud snore coming from the kitchen. Poor Tobi, he was annoying, but that didn't mean he had to sleep in the kitchen. This thoughts got interrupted too by a deep low voice.

"Night, h'mm"

This was it, Deidara would step out of the dining room and go to his room, she stood up and started walking to her own room, casually ravishing, he HAD to stop her and talk to her.

"Where are you going, h'mm?"  
"Nowhere special"

She stopped, letting him catch up with her.

"We're heading up to the same place then, h'mm"

Deidara took her hand and led her outside, her heart started beating faster by the minute, loving and hating every second of it. She pulled his arm and pushed him onto the wall.

"Actually…"

She grabbed his shirt and tugged on it making him bend over low enough for her to reach, catching his lips with her own. Deidara kissed her back immediately as if he had been expecting it, but he wasn't going to let her take over, after all she was his work of art.


	11. SideEffects

**11**

He turned her around pinning her to the wall, she liked him being in control. Her legs got lifted up to his waist and she snaked them around it. He then broke away from the wall without breaking the kiss, making the way to his room.

Loud steps were heard heading closed to them. Aline jumped down and tried to look innocent, Deidara rested his back on his door, head tilted slightly to the left.

"Hnn…"

Itachi appeared on the corridor's end and started walking towards them, to his room. His cheeks were slightly red and his eyes found it hard to focus on things.

"Hidan wanted a word, Deidara" he said walking past by them and opening the room to his door. "Said it was important, he's on the living room"

And it was precisely now, he wanted a word, tonight of all nights and at this very moment. Itachi entered his room soundlessly, Aline walked back close to Deidara and stepped on her tip toes.

"Night"

She kissed him one last time on the lips, gently. Like she needed to know it had been real, then went into her room.  
He walked to the dining room wearily, cursing Hidan with every step, of course he could always blow him up, but the immortality thing made it less appealing. By the time Deidara was on the living room Hidan was fast asleep on the table.

Fortunately, he always had clay on him.  
He turned around and walked back to his room as small clay spiders crept all over Hidan.

"Katsu"

Audible bangs were heard through the mansion as Deidara's door slammed, noise that was quickly replaced by Hidan's usual cursing.

In spite of the events of the evening nobody had any trouble sleeping, and no one was awake until very late in the afternoon. Hangover S-ranked criminals were not precisely safe to be around.

Aline couldn't take her mind off him. What was so special about him anyway? Crazy pyromaniac man. And the fact of him being just a few steps away didn't make it any easier. Maybe, just maybe that blonde haired blue, eyed freak would appear on her door. She stared at the door, trying to keep her eyes focused on one spot, she could go to his room but somehow she knew neither her stomach nor head were too fond of movement, or anything at the moment.

Deidara on the other hand hadn't drink as much, and was sitting down on his chair, sketching. Apparently he was in the zone, his hand almost moving on it's own, soon his room was full of new sculptures, but there was one thing that wouldn't leave his mind. He put his pencil down, it was getting late, but he hadn't heard anyone leave their rooms yet, maybe she was asleep. Could he sneak into her room? Of course he could sketch her without actually looking at her, but which artist could resist such temptation?

He walked to her room and opened the door to find her asleep. Asleep, beautiful and barely clothed. His heart leaped, he moved the black couch next to her bed and placed it in front of her, sitting down. It didn't take too long before several sketches were done, however he didn't know for how long she'd continue to be asleep, and he certainly didn't want her to find him there.

He was about to close the door back when his eye caught hers.

"Morning, pyro" she said with a soft, almost seductive voice, without minding her lack of clothes or the fact he was on her room.  
"Morning, gorgeous"

Words had come out of his mouth faster than he had expected them to. Her heart started beating fast, as if it was trying to beat out her chest, a slight blush appeared on her cheeks He was in her room, she was on her underwear and he'd just called her gorgeous.  
Aline couldn't help but stare at him, she felt so mesmerized.

"You're not wearing your hair up today" Deidara stepped closer, feeling strangely self conscious, it was true, he sat on her bed and tugged a bit on his hair. "You look good"  
"So, you're not getting up, h'mm"

He had completely blown off her compliment, was he blushing? He looked slightly nervous, he had forgotten about moving the couch back, hopefully she wouldn't notice. How could she, after all her room was a mess.

"Nahhh, my head is killing me, how long have you been up?"  
"An hour maybe, yeah" he lied, a yawn escaped his mouth actually now that she mentioned it he was a tad tired. She looked so beautiful, just laying there, he could barely suppress the urge to taste her lips again.  
"You look tired, here"

She motioned for him to lay down, moving aside and lifting the covers, he got under them and laid down pulling her close so she could rest her head on his chest. She felt a small peck on her waist as Deidara pulled her closer, his hand had just kissed her.


	12. Slumbers

**12**

A couple of hours later Aline woke up to a warm fuzzy feeling, her eyes were closed and she could feel a strong arm around her waist holding her close. She snuggled on Deidara's neck, refusing to open her eyes, refusing to the idea of being dreaming, but dreams didn't feel warm, dreams didn't have that reassuring heartbeat she could hear, did they?

Deidara was woken up by the setting sun that illuminated the room, it hadn't been a dream, the angel laying next to him was really there. She looked so peaceful when she slept. He loved how transcendent, how fleeting life was, but god! If only he could make this moment last forever! His left arm was snaked around her waist, rubbing her bare skin, he hadn't realized how tight he had been holding her, unconsciously unwilling to let go.  
He closed his eyes again and sighted, waking up next to her gave him a feeling he thought would never feel again.

Sun was starting to grow lighter, if only she had closed the curtains they could pretend the world was still asleep, but it wasn't. Reluctantly she opened her eyes, moving up a little to kiss Deidara's neck, his eyes were still closed, but the continuous touch of his hand let her know he wasn't asleep, he only wanted to make this moment last longer, to shut the world off, just like her.

"Hey, Pyro"  
"Hey, gorgeous"

She sat back up, remembering what had happened earlier that morning, the sudden awareness of her lack of clothes sending her back to reality.  
Deidara stared at her appreciatively, sending a shiver down her spine. She was used to having men attention, but he wasn't looking at her like is she was a piece of meat like most men did, he looked at her as if she was the most precious thing in this world. Her cheeks started growing hot, a red shade kicking in, she wanted him to stop, but at the same time she didn't.

"Why are you getting up, hnn?"

She really didn't know why, she didn't want to, but at the same time having him there in her room, made her feel increasingly vulnerable.

"I… just… feel a bit cold"  
"I can fix that, yeah, here-"

He patted the space next to him, a smirk on his face, motioning for her to lay down again. How could she resist such an adorable face? She crawled back next to him and snuggled back into place. It was weird the way her body seemed to fit perfectly with his, her fingers started entangling on his hair as she looked up to a piercing blue eye.

For how much longer could they keep the world away from them he didn't know, but he'd take it in for as long as he could.

Fortunately for them, everyone else was too trashed to move.


	13. The Secret

**13**

Later in the evening most of the Akatsuki were feeling better and had finally come out. Konan made her way to Aline's room and knocked on the door., which made no difference really because even if everyone would knock before entering a room, nobody minded what the reply was and would come in anyhow.

She entered and walked out in a flash. Blushing slightly at what she had just seen. Hasty movements were heard inside the room and she knocked again, slowly.

A now dressed Aline opened the door this time, visible flush on her cheeks. Deidara was now sitting on the rim of the bed, hair still down and slightly messed up.

"Well, didn't you guys have fun!" she said a mocking grin plastered on her face. Aline rolled her eyes and smiled back, pulling her inside.

Konan glared at Deidara as Aline closed back the door. He just looked down, guilt all over his face, he stood up.

"I'll catch you later, h'mm" he said as he approached her and smiled. Aline grabbed his shirt and tugged on it lightly. He turned to face her once more and did his signature smile. Leaving a second after.

"So much for being just friends" Konan mocked sitting on the black couch.  
"Shut the fck up" Aline snapped hitting her with a pillow.  
"How was it?"  
"Nothing happened"  
"Yeah, right"  
"No, seriously"  
"I find you half naked and yet you say you didn't sleep with him?"  
"No, we slept together but we didn't do anything"  
"Oh, I see"

Konan rolled her eyes, she wasn't buying a word, and that was starting to annoy Aline.

"Whatever" she snapped diving into the bed.

Deidara made his way to the living room. Konan knew, but she wouldn't tell her, he was sure of it.

"You fcking bastard, set me on fire last night!"

He looked up at an enraged Hidan.

"I thought you liked pain, yeah"  
"What the fck?! I told you what would fcking happen if you did that again!"

Deidara looked at him and smiled, ready to fight, but it was the look on Hidan's face that made him stop.

"I've noticed the way you look at Aline, do you really want me to tell her!?"  
"Oh shit, he knows too" Deidara thought.

A concerned look spread on his face now. Hidan had gone to the village last time he had gone to visit her. Had Hidan seen him with her? There was only one way to know, but if he knew, then it meant everyone else knew as well.

"Tell her what?"  
"Tell her you've already got someone"

Deidara's heart fell to the ground, he couldn't let this happen. But Hidan wouldn't dare, after all they were men, they had to stick together.

Konan made her way to the living room, where he found Deidara and Hidan, they both dropped dead silent at her sight.

"We need to talk" she said eyeing Deidara.

Hidan smiled at him, knowing what was about to come.

"Do it again, and I won't hesitate on telling her." Hidan said smiling evilly as Deidara followed Konan.

The rest of the week went quite uneventful. Pein had asked Deidara on a mission even though they were on a break from work, it was impossible for him to turn it down though, after all Pein was the leader, and truth to be told he needed to get away from the headquarters.

This didn't make Aline very happy, but there was nothing she could do about it. Therefore now most of her time was spent training, trying to avoid the rest of the members, she didn't quite know why, but some of the members were acting weird around her, especially Hidan. She hated the way Hidan looked at her, a smirk plastered on his face every single time, as if mocking her.

Deidara would be gone until next week, which meant they wouldn't have much time to spend together anymore.  
Her fire jutsus had improved significantly and Itachi had taken an especial interest on them, trying to train with her as often as he could.

Today however, she was on a nearby forest on her own. She found herself thinking about Deidara again, wondering if he was fine, hopefully he would, after all he was an exceptional fighter, but mostly wondering if he thought about her as often as she did.


	14. Perfect Harmony

**14**

In just a few more days she'd be with him again, and this made her heart beat faster, and as much as she hated the vulnerability it was something to look forward to, something that made her want to be better.

She also found herself walking into a nearby village, it had been a long time since she'd last been around other people, the dim lights that surrounded the city seemed to call her name, it was so beautiful. She walked carelessly around the shops, stopping at an art shop.  
A beautiful young woman greeted her, as she looked around, wondering what to buy. Her hair was short and black, small framed, sparkling green eyes, Aline sighted, true beauty was hard to ignore.

She ended up taking a canvas, a few oils and some brushes. This would be the perfect way to greet Deidara. The woman handed her a bag with the things she'd purchased.

"Not many women wander around so late" she said while handing Aline the bag. Aline grinned, it was right, most women wouldn't be found wandering alone, but then again most women weren't S-ranked criminals.  
"I know" she replied smiling at her.  
"You're not from around, are you?"  
"No, not really"

The woman looked a little concerned, as Aline made her way back to the door. She hastily approached her. Now that she had a closer look she could tell the woman must be around her own age, 18. 19 at most.  
She grabbed her arm, and looked at her closely.

"It's getting late, are you going home alone?"  
"Yeah"

Aline didn't know why the woman even cared, what was it to her if a costumer was leaving alone? It annoyed her a little, mostly because it wasn't everyday she found a woman who she felt competed against her own looks, she looked down at her hand which still was grabbing her arm, a little too tightly.

"I run an inn nearby, maybe you'd like to spend the night there, all the rooms are taken but I have an extra bedroom."  
"No, really, I'm alright"  
"I insist"

The woman looked at her pleadingly, why did she even care? Truth was the village really was beautiful, maybe spending the night wouldn't be such a bad idea.

"Well, in that case..."

The woman closed the shop and pulled Aline's arm, leading her to the inn.  
It had a beautiful decoration, for what she could see not only was the woman beautiful, but she also had an amazing talent, murals decorated every room, sunsets, dragons, flowers, fire. It was extremely beautiful. Fire… explosions… Deidara! Why did she miss him so much?

The woman offered her something to eat and drink, which she politely refused, she didn't mean to trouble her hostess, but once again the woman insisted.

"My name's Hitori Otamu."

And with that she started all, as Aline learnt a few hours later she was a well known artist from the village. An artist prodigy, she had been painting since she was 5 and now at 19 she mastered every technique and held impressive control over each brush.

The next morning Aline grabbed her bags, and made her way back to the headquarters, not before promising Otamu she'd show her some of her own art. This only made her want to be better that much more, and as soon as she got home she locked herself in her room sketching madly, and finally starting what would have to be her masterpiece.

A few days later her work was done, and she stared at it contently, placing it near the window so it could dry faster, tomorrow she'd visit Otamu again, maybe she didn't have so much experience, but her ninja skills and natural talent had created a work even Otamu would envy.

She woke up before sunrise, feeling extremely excited, everything was planned, she'd go to the village, buy food, show off to Otamu and come home to start working on Deidara's welcome night. She had missed him terribly and the anticipation of seeing him tonight made her heart feel like it was beating off her chest. Sasori knocked on her room, last night she had intended to show him her work, but he had been working on a puppet.

He entered her room and looked at the painting by the window, why was he so silent? She had expected him to compliment her work or at least tell her it was horrible, but not to stare at it silently.

"And well?"

He looked at her with a vague hint of sadness on his eyes, as if he felt sorry for her.  
"True beauty lies in things that last forever, never rotting or fading."

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Was it even an opinion on her work? He smiled vaguely, the same look on his eyes and picked up several photographs that were on the floor.

All of the Akatsuki were there, every moment captured perfectly, goofing around, cooking, cleaning, drinking, he couldn't help but notice Deidara was on almost each and every one of them, one picture was missing though, he looked at the portrait again. Deidara was sitting down embracing Aline, who was sitting on top of him, his hands on her hair, as hers were placed on his neck. She had captured the perfect instant of a kiss, the perfect light, the perfect harmony. And that missing picture was on the floor next to its painting.

He smiled and handed her the photo album, closing the door as he left. He had left her with a weird sensation, what was with the pity look? The feeling left as soon as she looked to the painting, it looked exactly like the photograph, Deidara would love it. She was sure of it.


	15. A Beautiful Lie

**15**

She took a long bath, and then got dressed making sure she looked picture perfect before she left to the village. It was nearly noon when she got back to the headquarters and started cooking. She'd have to go back to the village to buy some flowers and to show her masterpiece to Otamu, she still had some time left before Deidara got home.

She made sure everything looked perfect before she left again knowing Deidara would arrive in the evening. She placed the portrait on a bag and walked to the village. As she walked out of the flower shop a hint of blond hair caught her eyes. She could've sworn it was Deidara, she felt so pathetic missing him so much. But she'd see him tonight, in just a matter of hours. She walked to the art shop to find it closed.

Aline sighted heavily, maybe Otamu was at the inn. She made her way there, but according to the lady who ran it Otamu had gone out, "Some other time, then" she thought. Now it was getting dark and she really wanted to get home before Deidara did.

While making her way back she spotted Otamu inside a tea shop. For what she knew the place had a beautiful sight and once inside one could choose either sitting in or out. But who would want to sit inside with such a beautiful sight of the sun starting to settle in? Aline walked in. Otamu was sitting outside, dressed in a pale pink kimono, looking breathtaking. She leaned closer to the man next to her and stared in devotion. This was the man she had talked about, Aline looked away, contemplating the sunset and sighted, wishing Deidara was there to share this moment with her.

The man leaned in and kissed Otamu passionately, making Aline's head turn back to them. She caught another glimpse of blond hair, and then a piercing blue eye opened up to look at her.  
It couldn't be.

Deidara was the man Otamu had been talking about.

Her heart sank into the bottom of her stomach. What the fck was this supposed to mean?

He had opened his eyes as he felt someone looking at them. He didn't need his left eye to see who was staring at him.

Aline let the portrait fall. Backing away slowly eyes filling up with tears, why couldn't she move faster? Why did she have to be there. This couldn't be. Shock was starting to fade away, her body regained its strength as the flowers she had bought earlier hit the floor. In a flash she had left, leaving no trail behind her. She ran until her legs failed, falling to the ground, breaking down in tears.

She couldn't believe it. How could she be so stupid? How could she have not known?

She stayed there, rocking herself for a few minutes, then started slapping herself on the forehead as more tears streamed down her cheeks. She inhaled deeply and stood up. Trying to calm herself down. Her pulse slowly went back to normal and she started walking back to the headquarters. She walked through the forest for what felt being hours. How long would it take her to get there, she wasn't sure, she didn't want to get back, she didn't know what she'd do once she got there.

After 6 hours of walking, she realized she couldn't prolong her way back any more. Sun had already risen as her weary silhouette appeared outside the headquarters. He was on the entrance, sitting down, staring at her. His mouth opened but she made no sign of having seen him and walked by.

She really hadn't seen him, or anyone else she ran into. Her watery eyes made it impossible for her. Itachi was the first one, an apprehensive look on his face as he saw her coming in. Hidan and Kisame were also up but none of them dared stop her.

Her door slammed closed with a loud thud, as the Akatsukis looked at each other with a slightly concerned look, she was after all part of their family.

Fortunately they had only two more days until they went back to missions, then she could be herself again. She could go back to not caring, not feeling, true ninjas show no emotion. "True ninjas show no emotion" she repeated it over and over in her head. She couldn't dare thinking right now, she just couldn't.

Aline had been standing in the same spot on her room for the past hours, eyes closed, tears had stopped streaming down and now her eyes looked swollen, and tired, yet she continued rocking back and forth on her spot. After a while she shook her head and looked at the bed disgusted, several images coming to her head. She couldn't sleep there. She couldn't stand being there, she felt trapped. She opened the window and walked outside, if she stayed there for one more second she'd be consumed.

Few minutes after the strong smell of burning wood reached the headquarters, Konan stepped outside, watching black clouds of smoke several kilometers away. As she turned to her left she noticed Deidara sitting down staring at the floor, the back of a canvas pressed tightly to his body.

"I hope you're happy now"


	16. Don't Speak

**16**

"Please don't look at me that way" Aline said with a slight smile, Konan smiled back.

"What face?"

"That face! You make me feel as if I were dying"

"Aren't you?"

"Fck you!"

This was the first time she had actually laughed in a long time.

"I won't be dying anytime soon"

Deidara walked in the kitchen and stopped flat when he saw Aline, he hadn't seen her much or even talked to her since the day she'd seen him with Otamu. They immediately stopped laughing, Aline looking down and Konan looking rather annoyed by his presence.

"Hey" he said to them as he poured water into a glass.

"Hey"

Aline froze for a second, not sure why she had replied back, the word had come as a mere reaction. Deidara looked at Konan but she didn't say a word, this was the first time he had actually "talk" to him since he had left for the mission. The tension grew stronger when their eyes met. He had always had a thing for emotion; how people reacted towards things. He loved her eyes, how they spoke to him without saying a word, but right now he wished he hadn't looked at her.

She was broken, like if she'd been stripped off from life. Did she actually care so much? He felt filthy and embarrassed, disappointment was a horrible feeling and her eyes told him he had let her down. Konan walked out of the kitchen, snapping both of them back to reality.

The atmosphere got so thick it was almost suffocating. But maybe this could be his chance to talk to her, sort things out…

"How are you, h'mm?"

"Great"

"About what happened—"

"I don't want to know"

…or maybe not.

She had placed a finger on his lips to hush him, her skin was cold and up close he could see the dark rings under her eyes. He hated to see her like this, and he hated her looking at him like this. She walked away, as he merely watched, unspoken words on his slightly open mouth. She didn't want to hear any excuse. Excuses were things people used to feel better, to justify their actions. She didn't need to know what had happened, she'd seen what had happened.

The word had spread around, even when neither of them had said a thing. Everyone knew about Otamu and Aline's change of attitude had let them know she now knew as well. However nobody asked anything; personal things had nothing to do with the organization, and as long as it didn't affect their performance and success in missions it was unimportant.


	17. Missunderstandings & Missions

**17**

The next morning Pein started giving away missions. Deidara was assigned to kill Mangetsu Hozuki, and it needed to be a fast, clean work. He was about to leave Pein's office when someone knocked on the door.

"Come in"

"You wanted to see me, Leader-sama?"

"Yes, you'll be paired with Deidara on your next mission. Zetsu will dispose of the body. He'll explain the rest to you, you're dismissed."

She nodded her head and left the room, unaware of Deidara walking behind her.

"Perfect, just what I needed" she muttered sarcastically reaching the end of the hall. She closed her eyes and banged her head on the wall repeatedly, stopping only when she felt someone staring at her.

"What?" she asked annoyed while turning around.

Of course it had to be Deidara, she stared back at him, clearly embarrassed, but still tried to keep her cool, he looked confused and as if he was trying not to laugh. She raised her left eyebrow and adopted a slightly menacing gaze. His face straightened back right away and she headed to her room, cursing under her breath.

She decided not to make such a big deal out of it.

Deidara showed up on her room an hour later, luckily the door was open, meaning he didn't have to knock and wait, and think…

"I'm ready"

She walked past him, without even glancing back to see if he was still there. They stepped outside, and he finally caught up with her. This was going to be a long way to the Village Hidden in the Mist. Had they been in speaking terms he would take her over for a ride, he would have a display of explosions for her, he would…

Aline let out a loud sight. He knew she needed to rest, but she wouldn't let him know. Maybe it was worth a chance.

"I think we should take a break, h'mm"

She stopped.

"Yeah"

They looked for a clear spot to rest, at least until dawn. Surprisingly this hadn't been as awkward as they had imagined.

Truth was he hadn't exactly cheated on her, cause she wasn't his girlfriend, she was the other girl, the one whom he had cheated on with. She wasn't sure if this was any better though, but still being unable to speak to the one person she actually cared about was heartbreaking.

As self indulgent as it seemed she didn't want things to be like this with him. She missed his scent, his touch, his kiss… but most of all he missed him.


	18. Kiss & Makeup

**18**

"I say we better get going"

"Yeah, h'mm"

Dawn was breaking in, and they had spent nearly 3 hours on the same spot in silence. They walked through the forest and into the trail the leader had given Deidara. It didn't take them too long before reaching a small household where the man was supposed to live, now they were left too wait, yet in silence again.

After a few hours they were finally able to hear something.

A man was approaching.

As branch fell in front of him, setting off one of the traps, the explosion bursted out and Hozuki got into a fighting stance.

Aline came out of her hiding spot and took out two katanas off her back. Hozuki swung his own weapon and ran towards her, setting another explosion off, he yielded an enormous sword and used it flawlessly, if she wasn't careful things could get ugly.

They called him Wrath of the Hidden Mist and he was a rather dangerous member of the 7 Swordsmen, his control over the blade was amazing, but she was rather good with her own as well.

After a few hits, Deidara could tell they were both drowing tired, setting so many traps hadn't been sucha great idea, as she found it hard not to step on them and the once that did hit him nearly caugh Aline several times. She did a couple of handseals when he got distracted by an explosion and screamed.

"Fire!!"

Hundreds of tiny spiders crawled on Hozuki and in a second it was over. Aline gave him the final blow cutting his head off cleanly.

"That was easy, yeah"

She smiled at him and he smiled back, giving them a relief from the former tension. He did one last clay bird and send it off to Zetsu, so he could come get rid of the body.

Aline had a couple of cuts and bruises were Hozuki had hit her and was laying on her knees, however when she tried to get up her legs weren't able to support the weight.

Dedara hurried over her, forgetting their current status and carried her up.

"Are you alright?"

"I thought I was"

Truth was they hadn't eaten in 4 days, and the fight had exhausted her. She had brought plenty of soldeier pills so they wouldn't be delayed but there seemed to be none left.

Deidara grabbed some more clay from his pocket, feeding it to his mouth, seconds after a giant clay bird was in front of them. Aline was still in his arms, hoping he wouldn't feel her heartbeat. Why did he had such a big effect over her?

The frail figure snuggling into his warmth, sent shivers down his spine, he could tell her heartbeat was raising and a smile crossed his face. Not everything was lost after all.

He stepped on the back of the bird and sat down, holding Aline closely, her eyes were closed but he knew she wasn't asleep, he embraced her tighter and the bird took off. They couldn't travel like this for long though, after all they had to keep a low profile and such a strange sight could be dangerous.

It was a beautiful feeling holding her close and enjoying such an artistic view, it made him wish he could burst it into fire, like his heart did. Aline had finally given in and rested her head on his chest sleeping. His right hand was rubbing her side trying to keep her warm as the fingers of his right hand curled her hair. They had been away from the Akatsuki's headquarters for a little over 4 days, and this was the closest they had been since the day he had been with Otamu.

Deidara hadn't meant for things to be this way. Otamu was a girl he'd met long before he'd met Aline, and hae'd been seeing her regularly during the first months Aline joined the Akatsuki. However, he hadn't seen her at all ever since the night Aline and hm kissed.

He still didn't understand why had their lips had met in such a strange way, of course the thought he'd been wanting to do it for a long time, but that kiss was just too spontaneous, almost mistaken, had it been all a mistake?

And then, that night she had pushed him into the wall and kissed him, had that been the effects of alcohol? A small bottle fell on his lap, he got his hand off her hair and picked it up, eyeing it suspiciously. The bright green color of the remaining liquid told him what it was. Absynth.

She'd been running on soldier pills and alcohol for this whole time, was it really so difficult for her to be with him? He felt his body slightly reject hers, which made her wake up. She got off him weakly, her limbs still fighting to support her weight, but this time Deidara didn't help her up. The bird landed softly on a clear spot on the grass, just in front of a lake.

Deidara jumped down and sat near the lake, leaving Aline alone on the clay bird. Clumsily she emptied her pockets, trying to find a pill she could take. A smile crossed her face, there was one left, she put it in her mouth and started looking for her trusty bottle, the one she'd never go out without, it wasn't there. Had she lost it? Suddenly a glimpse of glass met her eyes, there it was, she grabbed it and swallowed the pill after talking a sip of absynth. Deidara had a strange look on his face, not his usual cocky grin, he looked kind of annoyed actually. She stepped off the clay bird and walked over to him, they weren't in speaking terms but after all he had taken care of her.

"What's wrong?"

"You are wrong, yeah--"

He looked at her with an unpleasant face, which surprised her a little, she was the one who was supposed to be angry, not him.

She raised her eyebrows and backed off. What the fck was his problem?

"--you can't deal with me when you're sober, h'mm"

"What the fck?"

"You can't get close to me if you're sober, yeah"

"Whatever"

"Like that time, when I first saw you, when we kissed, when you kissed me, this whole fcking week, and probably right now too." The words had come out of his mouth as if he'd been waiting for a long time to speak.

"What the fck is your problem?!"

"You're my problem, you could try being sober for once, then I wouldn't have to take care of you, yeah."

That was enough, who the hell did he think he was?

"And what is it to you?"

"It's not h'mm"

Aline walked away, he hadn't even bothered to look at her when he talked.

"You're right, it's not.

The effects of the pill wouldn't last for too long, a little over 8 hours at the best, then she'd probably be too exhausted to move again, but if she could get as close as possible and then wait for her chakra to hold back up she could heal herself, and make it back with no problems.

She ran at a steady pace until it was too dark for her to continue, hopefully she wouldn't get lost. Being found by the enemy in such conditions could not be a good thing, and on top of everything Deidara now accused her of being an alcoholic! He could go fck himself now or anyone else for all she cared, go to his beloved girl, fcking bastard.


	19. Between Breaths

**19**

Deidara had been staring at the same spot for a while. Where the hell did all that had come from? Now she was alone, injured and in the middle of god knows where, but she was a strong kuinochi. She was right, she didn't need him to take care of herself, and he didn't need her either.  
Then why did it feel so wrong?

He had fcked it up worse, he was just so upset, hate wasn't the opposite of love, indifference was, and she'd been so indifferent towards him.

She had stopped running now, resting on a tree, trying to catch her breath. The pills wouldn't last long enough to get her somewhere safe. How could he say such thing, as if she was a burden. She was nobody's burden.

Her heartbeat finally became regular, and she stopped panting. Running wasn't such a good idea, the pills gave her strength, but they didn't take away the pain, and she had some pretty bad injuries that needed to be taken care of.

He had been trying to find her for the past hours, how could she get so far? This wasn't good, her body would surely crash, and he couldn't help but think it was his fault. He was pissed off, that was all. He wanted to be with her but not like that, he needed her to be fully aware of her actions, he needed to be sure it meant something to her, otherwise they'd lack their art.

Crimson stains met his eyes, making his heart drop to his stomach. He found her laying not too far away from there, her body was cold and her skin was as white as porcelain, his hand cupped her cheek gently, this was his fault. She was in this unbearably vulnerable state and it was all his doing. He sat down next to her and sat her up, pulling her close to him. He needed to keep her warm, so his arms held her closer as her head fell on his shoulder. Everything grew silent, and the darkness of the woods made it impossible for him to take her back to the headquarters. He positioned her body in what he thought would be a more comfortable position, resulting on her sitting down on his lap, strong arms snaking protectively around her waist.  
Her heartbeat seemed to raise with his touch.

This was all he needed to know.

"Hey gorgeous"

Words seem to come out of nowhere, did she miss him that much that she was now hearing voices? Her body was sore and she couldn't quite remember what had happened the night before, after running for some hours everything had faded out.

She opened her eyes with extreme difficulty, slightly alarmed, this was certainly not where she had been the night before. Morning breeze hit her face and she found herself safe in Deidara's arms. He pushed a finger to her lips.

"Don't talk now."

He knew perfectly well that she would try and get away, but her body was too weak to do it. Questioning eyes turned to him, but all he did was grin his signature smirk. He held her close until they reached the base, allowing the feeling to spread over them holding her seemed right, and being held like that made her feel there was nothing else in the world but him.

The headquarters was deserted, he walked in with Aline on her arms and carried her back to her room. He didn't feel like an intruder anymore as he stepped inside, laying her down on her bed. She didn't say a word during the whole time, but her eyes said it all.

"Stay with me"

His face turned towards her, he hadn't expected that. He turned back to the bed and knelt down.

"You really want me to, h'mm?"

She sat back up and leaned into his lips.

"I do"


	20. Almost Easy

**20**

Deidara took over right then, leaning her back to the bed, placing her head on a pillow. He kissed her fiercely and allowed her to melt into his skin.

He was now resting his right forearm on the bed to make sure he wouldn't let all his weight over her. His left hand was at her waist, rubbing on random patterns over the skin her slightly lifted shirt could reach. She smiled into the kiss, as his hand licked a particular sensitive area on her stomach, making her giggle.

"You like this, hmm"

She didn't reply, but instead made use of her newly found strength to make herself on top of him, then leaned onto his ear.

"Do you?"

Her hot breath sent shivers down his spine, as she took the chance to nibble on his earlobe and go down to his neck, placing chaste kisses on his bare skin, earning a guttural moan from the missing-nin. She bit him roughly as he held her waist sitting back up, fighting for dominance. Her nails dug into his back, and she continued nibbling and biting on his neck.

Deidara lifted up her shirt from her back smirking, she raised a challenging eyebrow and allowed him to take it off raising both of her arms. He tossed the shirt on the floor and kissed her lips reassuringly.

He molded his body into her soft and silky skin, the lips and tongues on his palms kissing and licking irregularly, she couldn't help but get rougher at him, as she bit his lower lip demanding and entrance and buried her hands on his soft hair trying to get as close as she could.

Deidara took control once again aroused by her actions and pinned her back on the bed enjoying the way her muscles jumped and flexed at his touch.

She quickly ran a hand through his bare back and stopped at his neck, trying to push him as close to her as possible. She parted her lips to allow him an entrance and kissed him back with equal passion.

He remembered the first time they kissed, and how her lips tasted sweeter than any others he'd tried. What he was confused about was why they hadn't kissed since then.

Deidara felt how she started lifting his shirt. He's body was very lean, but still so perfectly toned it seemed to be sculpt by the gods.

"DEIDARA-SEMPAI!!"

He hastily pulled his shirt down and realized the door was open.

"Have you found him yet?"

"Oh fuck no, Itachi too?" Aline thought trying to figure out where Deidara had tossed her shirt.

She crawled next to him and pointed at the vast closet next to them. He jumped out of the bed and ran to it, barely making it in on time.

"Have you seen Deidara?" an emotionless voice asked as a tall figure appeared on the entrance of her room.

Itachi looked around and a faint blush traced on his cheeks as he realized Aline wasn't wearing a shirt, her hair was slightly messed up and her eyes looked wild, he didn't know if he should step closer or leave and talk to her through the closed door.

Tobi caught up with him and entered the room nonchalantly.

"Aline-chan have you seen—"

"Have you guys heard about knocking?"

"I have, but the door was open, Aline-chan why are you not wearing a shirt?"

"Cause it's my room, and … what are you doing still here??"

"Itachi-san, Aline-chan is hurt!"

Itachi hurried up inside as Tobi tried to examine her.

"And what are these?"

"Tattoos, Tobi, now leave me alone"

"Tattoos?"

The hint of interest on Itachi's voice made Aline blush shlightly as she tried to push both of them away.

"Stay still!"

"When did you arrive?"

"Hnn, did Deidara leave you here?"

"Yes, do you know where Deidara-Sempai is?"

"Could you both shut up for a second?"

She stepped down of her bed and grabbed what seemed to be a clean shirt from a pile of clothes.

"No, I don't know where Deidara is."

"But you came back together didn't you?"

"Is it because Deidara-Sempai cheated on you?"

"What the fck? Nobody cheated on me! And yes, Itachi we came back together"

"Then where is he?"

"How am I supposed to know? Go look for him if you're so worried!"

"Well, if you do see him, tell him Leader-sama is looking for him"

"I will, now could you both get out?"

"Not a chance, Tobi go get some bandages and alcohol"


	21. Festival

**21**

"I said, get the fck out!" Aline said pushing Itachi aside. He stepped away and spoke to the closet.

"Will you ever clean up after your own mess?"

Deidara stepped outside the closet as Itachi made his way towards him. Aline, slightly alarmed, stood up between them and pushed him further away.

"He's here, now leave us the fck alone"

Itachi looked from him to her, a smug plastered on his face, making his way to the door. Tobi walked right into him, arms full of bandages.

"DEIDARA-SEMPAI!!"

He screeched throwing away all of the former things he had been carrying.

"You have to be kidding me"

A now clearly upset Aline stood up and stormed out of the room, leaving behind the three Akatsuki members.

She laid down under a tree waiting for her body to generate enough chakra to heal back. Honestly, she had been expecting Deidara to follow her, but as she got back to the headquarters a couple of hours later she found out he had set off on a mission with Sasori.

"He never even said goodbye" she thought bitterly to herself, completely unaware of being talking out loud.

"Can't stop thinking about him, can you?"

She turned around, to face the owner of such emotionless voice.

"Oh, I see you're still here. Don't you have better things to do like, go after your little brother or something?"

Her last words were caught of by a sharp kunai on her throat.

"So it's going to be like this, huh?" she asked, slightly caught off guard and though she wouldn't ever admit it, suddenly afraid of Itachi.

He seemed as alarmed as Aline by his actions and removed the kunai from her throat, however he didn't step back. A long hand reached out for her face and cupped her it ever so gently she was again taken aback again.

His mouth opened, as if to speak but no word ever came out, he leaned into her meeting an afraid gaze, and as soon as she blinked he was out.

She remained silent for a few seconds, trying to process what just had happened, her left hand touched the place were Itachi's hand had been.

"What the fck is wrong with him?!"

"Wrong with who?"

At least, a friendly voice.

"I don't know!! Everyone? Itachi was being obnoxious as usual and well then he got… intense"

"What do you mean by intense?"

"Intense! You know kunais and death glares, I swear sometimes I feel like he's PMSing or something… and Deidara! Can you believe the bastard didn't even say goodbye?"

Konan sat on the couch and laid down, a sight escaping her lips.

"Yeah, Pein does it a lot as well…"

Well at least someone empathized, she thought bitterly to herself she needed a distraction… how long had it been since she last visit the village?

Something inside her seemed to break. Of course, she hadn't gone to the village ever since she'd seen Deidara and Otamu there.

She shied away from that memory, shaking her head furiously.

"Geez, are you ok?"

"Not really, I think I'm going mental actually… I need some air"

She found the trail to the village without conscious awareness and ran off without thinking, without noticing where she went until she found the place. The sun was setting in, and she was greeted by hundreds of little lights, people here and there, couples holding hands, families with little children running around, music, food.

"_Is there a festival today? What day is it?"_ she thought while slowing down, trying not to crash onto anyone on this much too crowded space.

A glimpse of green caught her eyes. There was a woman running towards her, arms stretched wide open, a big smile on her face. So beautiful it made her heart sink, utterly self-conscious, her hair probably looked more like a mane than anything, her clothes were ragged and loose, she had run a lot…

"_I would__** kill **__for a shower" _she thought grimacing while wondering whether or not to make a run for it, probably not, that would be most impolite, and she actually liked the girl, or at least thought she did… if she didn't happen to love the one man who she couldn't live without.

"Aline!"

"_Run"_

"Aline!!"

"_RUN!"_

Otamu watched the play of emotions flashing on her face, her arms still wide open however the unfocused look on Aline's face made her take a step back.

"Eh… Aline?"

"_Shoot" .. "_Hey!"

Was the enthusiasm in her voice too fake? She might as well try harder.

"Otamu! Hey! How are you!"

Otamu gave her a dazzling smile and embraced her tightly. She stood there, motionless an awkward, cussing inside for not running.

"I'm great! So what do you think? Do you like it?"

She turned around gesturing with her arms towards the decoration of the little town.

"You, you made _this_?

"Of course! I… I thought that's why you were here. Didn't you come for the festival?"

"Ehh"

It was then when Otamu looked at Aline more closely, taking in her messy hair, her dirty clothes, the slight blush on her face.

"Actually I just kinda ran into it"

"I see"

"What are we celebrating?"

"We celebrate art of course!"


	22. Breaking

**22**  
So apparently there was a five day festival going on every year, celebrating art and artists, displaying everything from sculptures, paintings, poems, architecture, photography, music, dances… And every moment she spent with her she could see how Deidara might have fallen for her, the way the lights reflected on her big green eyes, how her hair flew with the wind, how graceful her every movement was, the way her full lips moved when she smiled…

She hated it, being there with this woman, this ridiculously beautiful woman who had captured the heart of her missing-nin. Why was Otamu so happy about anyways, hadn't Deidara broke up with her? She hadn't mention him at all, not one word of what she called _her Danna_.

It was past midnight now, but the festival hadn't ended yet, becoming brighter if possible and louder, as the children returned home and the older ones drank sake and talked animatedly to each other. Otamu invited her over, which she would have refused if it wasn't for the opportunity to bathe, and much to her horror find out what had happened with her and Deidara.

However not even once did she say a word about him, and as they walked back to her inn, her heart grew more and more anxious.

"So, how have you been?"

"I've been great! The art shop has a lot of new costumers and business is going perfect with the festival, everyone wants to create."

"Hmmm"

"How have you been?"

"Eh… I've been good…"

She had to lie better that that.

"You never showed me that painting of yours, did you finish it?"

"I did, actually. I've just been busy… work, you know"

"Yes, I understand"

They reached Otamu's room, while she apologized about not having a spear room to accommodate her in. Once inside, she started setting things up, prompting her into making herself at home. Her heart just grew darker and darker.

After taking a bath she hurried back to the room, but found it empty. She then felt consumed by the urge of inspecting the perfectly impeccable room, but just when she was about to start Otamu came in.

Her arms carried what looked like an enormous portrait, a beautiful view of the village. She had captured the colors of the sun setting in with such glorious perfection she felt a sudden burst of envy.

"This is my latest work" she said resting the picture on the wall next to the bed, Aline kneeled down to get a better look at it. It felt oddly familiar, like she had seen it before, and then her heart dropped. She **had **seen it before.

Otamu had captured the moment perfectly, it was the day she shied away from, the one were she had seen Deidara with her. And there he was sitting down on their table, smiling her favorite smile… for someone else. It was too much, much more than she could bear.

"That's _your Danna_?" she asked. A certain edge to her voice, luckily enough Otamu hadn't noticed.

"He is. I was hoping to present it tomorrow, he promised he'd come to the festival, but I haven't seen him in a while…" her mouth fell on the corners, and her eyes became wistful.

So they hadn't broke up. She felt her heart thump unevenly, much too fast.

"… the last time I saw him, he left all of the sudden. Without saying goodbye"

Aline knew this feeling only too well, she wanted to run away, run away from both of them, demand an explanation, run until her legs failed, scream, set the world on fire…

"Then he came back, and said he couldn't see me anymore, that he was sorry but he had to leave, and that I couldn't come with him, I told him I'd follow him anywhere, but he didn't listen, he just turned around and left" her eyes became teary, and her voice broke at the end, her heart was breaking too.


	23. Liar, liar

**23**

Aline laid awkwardly on the bed, pretending to be asleep. Deidara had promised Otamu he'd come to the festival and that was about enough to keep them both awake. The artist was on big light brown sofa, sketching absentmindedly.

The girl on the bed was exquisite, her chest moving evenly, her closed eyes concealed an overwhelming sadness. How could such a beautiful being be so broken? The brush on her hand was just starting to trace the outline when the girl sat up. Otamu put the canvas down, a slight blush on her cheeks, embarrassed for getting caught, but Aline remained oblivious.

"Morning" her voice was hoarse but her tone polite, adding nicely to the charade.

"Good morning… are you hungry? I could fix you something to eat…"

"Naaaah… I'm not hungry…"

It was then when her stomach uncovered her act, growling a little too loudly. Otamu smiled and walked outside the room.

"I'll be right back"

Aline walked sheepishly across the room, staring intensely at her reflection, at least she didn't look completely trashed, for not having slept at all that is.

At that moment Otamu entered the room, a wooden tray on her hands… it smelled delicious.

She had to give it to her. She was beautiful, artistic, talented, an amazing hostess, and an excellent cook. Her stomach twitched uneasily, she shouldn't be here… she should go.

"I should probably get going… "

"Can't you stay? For the festival! I'm presenting some of my work… it won't take long, I promise"

How could anyone say no to that angelic face, green eyes shining like that? Aline grimaced.

"Sure…" she shrugged "I think I could stay for a while…"

Why not, really, she could do with some shopping anyways. Besides she still had that sick twisted need for getting to know the girl, Stupid morbid fixation. Maybe she could even get some new clothes… this were just not flattering at all.

"… I might just go around and find something to wear though."

"Oh, well, you could borrow something from me"

"No!"

She regretted being so harsh immediately, Otamu's face darkened a little, she tried again.

"I actually need to stretch my legs, honestly. Plus I really do need to buy other things, I'll be back around six, don't worry"

Aline left the Inn walking just a little too fast, but Otamu didn't notice.

When she got back a few hours later, her hair was up in a fancy twist and her body covered in a red silk kimono.

She breathed slowly and closed her eyes, what was with the tachycardia? Deidara wouldn't show up, he was on a mission, plus hadn't they broke up? Immerse on her thoughts as she was she didn't notice where she was going, or collapsing into something soft and warm until she hit the floor.

She looked up from the floor, a hand stretched out in front of her.

"Sorry…"

"Nothing to worry about"

It was then when her eyes met a piercing gaze, blue eyes, but a different shade than what she expected. The man eyed her appraisingly, a smile pulling up his full lips.

"I've got it" he said with a deep voice, taking the bags of her hands. "Are you going to the festival?"

"No, well, yes… actually"

"You're walking on the wrong direction"

A slight blush went up her cheeks.

"Figures" she mumbled.

They reached the entrance of Otamu's Inn, and she turned to her mysterious stranger.

"This is me, thanks for the…"

"Actually I was hoping you'd come to the festival with me, that is if you're not going with someone else?" his face fell a little, what was it with people here and hospitality, everyone took things too seriously,

"Not really—" his face brighten up a bit. Wow, must everyone here be utterly breathtaking as well? "-just give me a second though, I need to leave those somewhere" she gestured to the bags on his hands, he flashed her a dazzling smile and gave them to her, leaning casually on the door, so non chalantly iy should be illegal.

The entrance was deserted, so everyone must already be at the festival, she went straight into Otamu's room hoping the door was open, fortunately it was. Or not?

She dropped her bags on the floor next to the bed, and went next to the sofa to pick up some of the sketches laying around. She found her face staring at her from multiple positions, one of them was already being outlined in a fancy looking canvas, Was there anything this world she couldn't do?

Suddenly a deep voice jerked every thought out of her head, one she would've recognized anywhere, and responded to inevitably. Already her head felt light, all her insides scrambled in wrong places. It was getting closer.

"I have something for you"

"Really? Well, let's see it then, h'mm"

It was him,

She shook her head violently and tried to make sense out of the world, the voices grew louder. The window, of course it was the only way out, she jumped for it.

Otamu stepped inside her room followed by Deidara, he sat on the bed and waited.

"I'll be right back"

He got up the bed and walked through the window, marveling at the splendid view of the city. Lights, and fire, and art, and… the sun was just setting in. He caught a glimpse of a young woman dressed in red, the man by her side offered her his hand, and just then the girl looked over her shoulder, to the window, there was something familiar about her, but she was too far from view to tell.

"Here it is"

Otamu placed a canvas on his hands, he knew the place well, it was him the day that Aline saw them together… certainly not something he wanted to remember, which reminded him why he was here, to say goodbye. The least he could give Otamu was proper closure…

Soft lips crashed on his, gentle but urgent, it was hard not to give completely into it as she locked her hands behind his neck and pushed him closer. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see the couple standing there, without moving, and the girl breaking into a run to the opposite way. He closed his eyes.

Her kiss became fiercer which reminded him again why he was there and how that could only make it harder. He took a step back, tentatively and watched confusion spread across her face.

"I'm sorry she said with a small voice, setting her eyes on her feet.

"Otamu, I can't do this anymore, I thought you'd understand"

"I did, I do. I know"

"Do you, un?"

"I do, I promise, it won't happen again"

Tears started streaming down her cheeks, and he held her close instinctively, rubbing her back, she shouldn't be hurting so much, it wasn't right. It was then when his eyes caught a bunch of sketches on the floor. He knew that face…

"What are those?, h'mm"

She thought he was trying to be polite by distracting her and turned around to face what he meant, she walked over to them and picked some up holding her hand out for him to take them.

"Sketches, mind you they're not so great. She's even more beautiful life."

"H'mm"

Something clicked then, the girl in red, the open window, the girl on the sketches."

"Her name's Aline, she… is a friend of mine, she said she'd meet me at the festival later tonight. Will you come?"


	24. Mysterious Stranger

**24**

She didn't stop running until her knees gave in, a million thoughts on her head screaming at her all at once. She couldn't make sense out of anything, the delicate fabric on her body, or the tears that streamed down helplessly. How did you do this to someone? How many times could you be crushed before your heart collapsed?

It didn't mean a thing, nothing did. Nothing made sense anymore. How could he do it?

She was kneeling down, a hand on the ground, another on her face, how far had she gone? Where was she now? She couldn't be that far off, the sky was just turning purple.

A heavy breathing caught her attention, the only thing she could rely on at the time. She turned her face towards the sound. Her eyes were blinded by the tears that refused to stop running, she tried to stand up but the now blurry vision kept her down holding her, trying to keep her from falling into pieces. He held her close, without a word until the sobs grew more and more silent, he pulled away slightly, keeping his arms on her shoulders and staring intently at her eyes.

His eyes seemed to scream at her, not violently, but concerned. As if they were asking if she was okay, but seeming to know better than that.

"We don't have to go back, you know?"

"You can go ahead, it's fine honestly."

…

"Go on, I'm fine, wouldn't want to keep you out of the fun" she tried her best to smile, but it came out more like a grimace, breathing in slowly he let him pull her up.

She smiled, more willingly this time as she registered concern on his eyes, such a beautiful face should not be stained by her, she tried to pull away.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Home?" her words came out questioning and he couldn't help the smile.

"And leave me stranded? I don't think so"

"Where are you going?"

"Same place you are, come on"

He took her hand, carefully, without taking his eyes from her face.

"You wouldn't want to go with me right now, I'm not the accurate description of "good time" at the moment."

"I'd be damn to leave such a beautiful girl wandering on her own this time of night"

He tugged her hand, inviting her to come along, and what difference did it make? Destination lacked importance and meaning, as long as there was no need to feel she could cope.

They walked silently back to the village, guided by the now lit up lights that danced around. Not even on her current state could she ignore the beauty, maybe if she detached herself enough from it, this could be passed on as a bad dream. The worst part of the storm was over now, but dreams didn't hurt this much. He squeezed her hand softly, and she turned to face him. Truth was that as trivial as holding hands was, it did make her feel better, like she wasn't drowning alone, even more, like she couldn't drown at all. She smiled.

"Told you it wouldn't be so bad" he said with his deep voice, smiling back at her.

And he was right, it was beautiful, or could be if she could just let it flow.

A strong urge captured her mind, entwining her fingers with his, it did feel nice, having something to keep her together.

The village was even more crowded, and it looked alive, like the lights that colored it were breathing. As they walked through she became more and more self conscious, what was with the staring? Suddenly she realized she must be looking like crap, crying didn't do any good to make-up and running didn't do any good to hair.

She let go of his hand and tried to fix it, but his hand grabbed hers more firmly.

"You look beautiful"

"And you're a great liar, but I couldn't live with myself if all these "fine" people were to remember you as the man who holds hands with the homeless girl"

"Well, all of these people are just jealous"

"Of what?"

"Of the man with the most exquisite girl on his hand"

He turned to her and stopped, leaning slightly down and just wiping her eyes off the remains of the tears.

"Perfect"

The touch of his hand made a weird thing on her stomach, not entirely pleasant or unpleasant, just weird… and slightly amusing.

He entwined his hand with hers once more and kept walking, bright colors drawing themselves over everything and everyone.

"You've never been to one of these, right?"

"Am I that obvious?"

"A little, yes"

He came on to a full stop just where the crowd seemed to take sits on the ground, now that she noticed everyone seemed to be walking on their same direction. He eyed her meaningfully and invited her to sit down. Now that she could think more clearly she was able to distinguish the music, and the voices around her, surely there was no place for sadness here, the lights exuded beauty and joy, as so did everyone else, everyone but her. But why would she not enjoy this? When life was too short to be miserable and everything but the present was unclear, she decided to go with it, simply go with the flow and let any lesser concerns escape her mind.

As in on cue fireworks burst into the sky, colorful and vibrant, it was beautiful.

"And what may I ask is the name that goes with the face?" Silly, he didn't know her name, nor did she know his.

"Aline… though to be honest I usually try and get the mysterious stranger's name before I have such an embarrassing display of emotions"

"Meaning it's not the first time?" his voice became playfully teasing, making a shy smile escape her lips. "My name's Vaughn"

And it wasn't so bad, despite everything to be here, holding hands with a stranger. Made her feel even more surreal, but in a good way, like she couldn't be harmed, because she wasn't herself, she wasn't expected to be strong or deadly, she was just a woman, and he was just a man. True ninjas show no emotion, but she wasn't a ninja tonight.

The last of the fireworks was a red dragon. Flying over their heads for a few seconds before it collapsed down and burst into brilliant shades of fire, like the starry sky was burning. She'd all but forgotten the world when the crowd started cheering and applauding. A soft whisper sent chills on her spine.

"Thank you for staying with me tonight"

She turned to find his face just inches away from hers, slightly startled by a loud voice that invited the crowd to the exhibition on the main stage.


	25. A New Disaster

**25**

His heart was pounding fast, so loud he could hear it, and he wondered if anyone else could as well.

The crowd that had been resting outside to watch his fireworks was coming inside the building now, for the art exhibit. He had some of his past work on display, and even though he once had thought of it as brilliant nothing compared to what he was working on right now, or what he had done on the last couple of weeks.

It was as if he had been living underwater, abstracted on his life with the Akatsuki, a life he never wanted to be a part of, but now it was different, something had changed. He had resurfaced, his world had shifted and everything felt different, the colors were more vibrant, the sounds were sharper… and all of it because of a girl.

Not any girl to say the least, she was what he always had pictured on his head, a muse, a friend, a lover, all wrapped into one. And now he had lost her, lost her to what he had mistakenly thought was "love". He now realized that Otamu, gifted as she might be was not what he wanted, and what he had felt for her was a shadow, a mock of what he now felt.

He examined the faces that came closer now, stopping here and there on the numeral sculptures, paintings and photographs scattered around. His heart pounded unevenly, waiting for her face… but _would _she be here?

Otamu danced around, talking animatedly to everyone, and exchanging her views on the art's display, he had made good on his promise, he came to see her work, but would _she _make good on hers… would _she_ come knowing he'd be here?

His heart started pounding even faster, as his body reacted to something his eyes had not found yet, his body tensed, froze as he saw Aline coming inside. Her face gave nothing away, a perfect mask of composure, she came closer to where he was, hidden by red silk curtains. No _she_ couldn't see _him_, but he could, and he also could see she was not there alone.

His eyes took in every bit of her body, graceful, lean, covered in an elegant red silk kimono, blood red, just like his curtains. Her eyes and lips shared the same shade of crimson and though normal eyes wouldn't be able to tell he could see her eyes were slightly swollen, looking lighter than usual, almost green, she had been crying. Even behind her perfect mask he could tell she wasn't really there, her eyes were far out. Distant, here only in her body, but where was her mind?

A smile escaped her lips as she turned to see her partner. Almost as tall as him, athletic, but he could see he was no fighter, and even if he was, none that could hold a chance next to him. A different emotion rattled his veins, poisonous, he could feel the rage now, forcing his body forward, out of the shadows. He was holding _her_ hand, _his _hand.

Otamu approached Aline, and they both smiled now, whether she was faking it or not he couldn't tell, but it looked honest enough. Otamu turned and looked around, as if looking for someone and then he realized she must be searching for him, she'd been planning on introducing them.

Deidara stepped out from the curtains in a fluent movement, as if he had always been there, Otamu caught his eye and he approached with the same nonchalance Aline seemed to exude. He could only catch a glimpse of emotion as his eyes met Aline's, then the mask was back on. Vaughn didn't seem to miss the weird exchange between them, as her hand gave his a gentle squeeze, involuntary movement of course, but strong enough for him to feel.

"Danna, this is Aline and Vaughn"

His stomach twitched, so the filthy mockery of man had a name, he didn't like the way Otamu had made their names sound, as if implying something else, as if they were together.

And for all he knew they might have been.

"Hello" she said curtly, meeting his eyes.

He froze again, there was no emotion on her voice, or her eyes, as if she were dead.

"My Danna-

Aline's mask fell again at the sound of "_my_"flinching slightly, but not slightly enough for Deidara to miss, she was hurting, and hurting bad.

"-made the display of fireworks outside, did you like them?"

Vaughn squeezed Aline's hand gently when she didn't respond, and she turned to smile at him apologetically.

"They were unlike I've ever seen" she said distant again and flashing Otamu a smile that didn't touch her eyes.

"Unbelievable, indeed though I'm afraid… overshadowed by the beauty next to me" Vaughn smiled at Deidara, as if in great comradeship and then winked an eye at Otamu, she nodded in agreement.

"You look extremely beautiful tonight" she agreed.

They stood awkwardly for a few seconds, Aline felt utterly self conscious as all eyes rested on her, a slight blush betraying her perfect façade. Someone in the distance called for Otamu then and she turned to Deidara resting her palm casually on his chest, a lovers reflex, innocent and completely unconscious… which only hurt Aline more.

Then she turned toward them.

"I'm sorry, I have to go present my work now, I hope you like the exhibition. Aline please feel welcome to stay at the Inn tonight, I wouldn't want you wandering alone… Vaughn, it was my pleasure to meet you. Danna." She inclined her head in an act of complete adoration and respect towards him and then left.

"Do you want to go for a drink?" Vaughn suggested as Otamu disappeared into the crowd. Aline nodded once, and then turned to face Deidara. "Do you want to join us?..." he added tentatively his eyebrow raising ever so slightly.

"Oh we wouldn't want to monopolize the _artist_" Aline said, and she managed to add venom and sarcasm at the same time so subtly no one but Deidara noticed.

"Another time maybe"

"It was nice, meeting the man behind the pyrotechnics, I always loved fire…" she drifted off and eyed him again, no mask this time, only pain was visible in her lioness eyes.

He opened his mouth as if to say something and closed it again, knowing nothing he could say would ease the pain inside her.

"My pleasure"

She nodded once and tugged on Vaughn's hand, leading him out of the building. She wanted to run and she needed it bad. She could feel Deidara's eyes on her while they walked and that only made her go faster.


	26. Painted by Numbers

**26**

"Where off to, mademoiselle?"

"Well, this is as they say, your party, where do you think we could go?"

"That depends on what you want"

"Actually, I'm in the mood for wine..."

"Loosing sense with elegance, are we?"

"You know what they say"

"And what is that?"

"If you're going to be bad, you might as well make it good"

He led her to a small bar just a few feet away from the main building, it was almost full, but they still managed to get a small table. Vaughn got her chair and asked her to wait as he went to order their drinks.

She felt tense, and anxious, he had held her hand all night and now if only for a moment he had left, her hand was empty and she could feel the broken pieces of her heart collapsing. She allowed herself a deep breath as she recalled his perfect face, the blue of his eyes, he hadn't been a ninja tonight either, no Akatsuki cloak, no eye-device, no mesh shirt. She smiled sadly at this, why did it hurt so much? Why had he lied? And then she realized he hadn't lied, she never asked whether or not he had a girlfriend, she just assumed he hadn't, she also didn't ask if he had broke up with her, it was only too clear now he hadn't. Silly enough she had believed he had left her, and why would he leave such an exquisite creature? One who seemed to worship the ground he walked on...

Vaughn came back wearing a pleased smile and sat across from the small table.

A waiter followed him short after, a bottle of wine on his tray, two glasses and one glass of water, he left everything on the table and smiled, leaving as soon as he uncorked the bottle.

"I thought this is something you'd like, rich and fuity" he motioned to the bottle and poured a little on her glass to sample. She took a zip.

"You have a good taste" she approved.

He poured in some more and then poured himself just a little bit.

"You're not drinking?"

"I don't drink..."

"I see... so you're expecting me to finish it then?" she smiled sexily without that being the intention.

He raised his glass solemnly, but otherwise ignored her question.

"Here's to you"

She raised her own glass and touched it to his, a soft sound of expensive glass crashing.

* * *

Deidara left short after, walking outside the building just in time to see where Aline and Vaughn were headed to, he leaped gracefully over the shop across the street of the bar and to the roof. He could see her sitting on a small table next to the glass window, her eyes looked weary, her face no longer composed, he fought the urge of running over and hold her, and he would've had it not been for the man that returned to sit on the other end of the small table.

What would he say to her, how could he make it right? He had broken up with Otamu, but the forever blurring lines they had made it a whole harder, she was his fellow artist, her Danna, not in the sense of belonging, he didn't belong to anyone, but his heart did.

His heart was on the hands of the kuinochi sitting just a few feet away from him.

He would no longer hurt her like this, he didn't want to be the reason why her eyes reflected a broken soul.

It was just a little after midnight when they left. Vaughn held the door open for her and he could see she wasn't completely sober, the slight blush on her cheeks and her mildly unfocused gaze gave her away. He held her hand again as they walked, he could see where he was taking her now, and he was grateful. At least he wasn't trying to lead her to his place. They reached Otamu's Inn, and he jumped off the roof gracefully, making sure Aline wouldn't be able to see him as he approached, she stepped hesitantly on the door and opened it, but he didn't let go of her hand, instead he pulled her gently so he could reach her lips.

It was a short kiss, but full with implications, gentle and sweet, she kissed him back dubiously and then broke it off, looking slightly confused and alarmed somehow, but Vaughn didn't notice. He then pulled her hand to his lips and leaned to kiss it.

"Will I see you again?"

She didn't respond immediately, feeling strangely anxious, as if someone was watching. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. She didn't know what to say, so she rather say nothing. Instead she smiled and reached for the door.

"An artist is bound to run out of supplies sooner or later" she said teasingly, and he took her answer as a yes.

"I'll be waiting" he replied, smiling back.

He walked away looking over his shoulder once as she pretended to enter the Inn, but as soon as she was sure to be out of his sight she broke into a frenzy run. There was no way she could spend the night here, in this town of all places. The alcohol's effect could only last for so long and she refused to break down in front of Otamu. She needed to be home, comforted and safe, even if for a few hours.

It was half past two when she reached Akatsuki's headquarters. It didn't make much sense for her to want to be here, knowing that Deidara lived here as well, and she was bound to run into him eventually.

The village was a strange place, she was just a woman there, nothing more. No one expected anything from her, but at the same time she didn't know how to be just a woman anymore. She couldn't remember the last time she had just been a woman, and she wondered if she ever had been. Back in her room she let her guard completely fall down. She wasn't one to cry in front of people, she never had been. Being vulnerable was something she only very rarely allowed herself to be, and she rather do it alone. She didn't want anyone to know just how much it hurt inside, specially not him, she didn't want him to know just how much power he had over her, the power to break her, the waves of pain drowned her gladly and she did not resurface until she was sure the pain had made her numb. Numb enough to keep the charade, time passed if nothing else did, and it could only hurt for so long, she'd get over it, just as she had got over everything else...

A soft knock on her door made her heartbeat rise, and her senses became more alert, she cleared her throat once, but her throat felt slightly soar.

"Yes?"

A million thoughts raced through her mind, was Deidara home? Could he dare show his face here, right now? A pitch of black and red caught her eyes, it wasn't Deidara of course, how could she even think that?

Itachi came inside and close the door behind him.

He searched the room and his eyes then fell into the girl on the floor, the tears on her cheeks were not completely dry yet, and he couldn't help the urge to kneel beside her.

He held her tightly, something neither of them was expecting.

It was exactly what she needed right now, being held. She smiled into his arms and fought the tears that threaten to betray her by escaping her eyes, but she couldn't resist them, she couldn't fight anything else for the night.

He waited for her to regain composure before he loosened his grip. He held her at arms length and looked into her eyes, it never seemed to stop amazing him how her eyes always were so clear, he had learnt a lot about her in the past months, things he was sure not even she was aware of, like the way she creased her forehead when confused, or weary. Or how she pretended to be tougher than she really was...

He didn't ask if she was fine, it was more than clear that she wasn't, he also didn't ask what had happened, he was well aware of the former relationship of Deidara and Otamu, and he knew about the festival. He had come to his own conclusions and apparently it had all gone the way he had thought it would.

He helped her up and ignored her questioning eyes.

Just because he was a cold blooded murderer did not mean he was a heartless bastard, and whether he liked it or not, he had grown fond on the girl on his arms. She had earned his respect and though he wouldn't admit it, his utter admiration.

Itachi carried her onto the bed and placed her carefully on it, her guard was down, completely now and only now was he aware of how fragile she looked, no matter how strong. And once again he succumbed into the urge of holding her. He pushed the sheets down and covered her cold body. Her red kimono was not long enough to keep her warm, or maybe it was just the way her body reacted to emotion, had her skin always been this cold? He couldn't remember.

Her questioning eyes never left his face, wondering without a doubt what had brought this on, but he couldn't answer that, because he didn't know the answer himself. Instead he lay down next to her and covered himself placing an arm under her head and pulling her closer to him. He only hesitated briefly before placing his left arm over her waist and holding her in place, close, intimately. Having her so vulnerable, made him loosen his own restraints. She closed her eyes, resting her head on his chest. His right arm folding effortlessly so he could lock his fingers on her now loose hair. And he gave into it, closing his eyes only when he was sure she was asleep.


	27. Dreams

**27**

She was walking through the deserted village, a ghost town. There was no movement, no life, no sound. The lighting was dim, and she couldn't tell what time it was. She was looking for something, something important, but she couldn't remember what it was.

Her anxiety started growing and it was then when she saw Deidara. He sat on the top of one of the buildings, no cloak, his black mesh shirt hinting at the perfect, lean but toned body underneath. She knew then that this was what she had been looking for, but the anxiety didn't wear off. She called his name, but he didn't turn to face her, he was staring at something, and she turned to see what it was.

There was a couple not too far from her, hand in hand, they were facing away from her, so their faces remained unknown. Why would Deidara be looking at them? The man leaned over the girl and kissed her lips lovingly. It was then when Deidara leaped gracefully down to the ground and started walking on the opposite direction.

Aline reached for his arm, but he didn't turn, he just kept walking. She walked behind him up to the trees on the other side of the village, he was walking slowly, yet she couldn't walk fast enough, she tried to run but her body was too heavy, she called him over and over and not even once did he seem to notice.

Otamu was waiting for him near a tree, wearing the kimono Aline had worn to the festival, red, silk carefully complimenting her body. It was the same makeup and hair do she had worn that night as well. Why was Otamu wearing her dress?

Aline stepped closer to her and as soon as she got close enough to touch she turned her back to her. Deidara got close as well, taking Otamu's hands on his.

"I love you"

He leaned in to claim her lips and only then his eyes rested on Aline's. It was a different expression than the one he'd worn that day at the village when she saw them kissing from afar. Aline reached to pull them apart, but found her body translucent like if she were a ghost...

Oxygen didn't seem to make it's way to her lungs, she started hyperventilating.

A gentle hand caressed her back in a soothing motion. It was then when she realized she had been dreaming, but she refused to open her eyes, instead she took comfort on the rhythmic motion of the hand on her back. Now that she was fully conscious she could feel her head been lifted and going back down with Itachi's breathing. Her body hadn't move an inch from the way she had fallen asleep, and only now did she realized how comfortable and safe she felt.

Itachi was more careful now, he lifted her head very, very carefully with his hand and rested it on the pillow, then he got off the bed, without a sound. If she hadn't been awake she was completely sure she wouldn't have been able to notice.

She heard just the slightest click of the door as it opened, and once again when it closed. Her eyes opened, it was hardly even morning, the sun hadn't come out yet, but she felt too alert, like she couldn't lay still.

The pictures of her dream ran fast on her mind, blurry even, she couldn't understand the meaning but Deidara's words burnt deep on her chest. His low, deep, fervent voice.

Morning didn't hold any comfort for her, she was worried sick, for no apparent reason. She wanted to see Deidara, she wanted to apologize, and scream and burn everything down. Be mesmerized by his eyes, and feel the warm fuzzy thing she felt growing on her stomach when he was near.

But he had someone, he had lied and cheat over and over. Well, not lie. They had never been together, cheating was not the right word. But it hurt. She wanted to stake a claim over him, and his eyes like sky, his deep voice, his lean, toned godlike body. She wanted to be the muse behind every explosion, every work of art. She wanted to be his masterpiece.

The long bath she took to clear her mind wasn't helpful. The sun had come out and the dream kept haunting her mind. His voice on repeat, the look on his face, and every time it hurt her deeper and deeper.

"I love you"

It was only then that the words made sense, she wasn't just in love with him, infatuated as she once thought. She loved the man, loved him like she knew she hadn't ever loved. That's why she couldn't begrudge him, it didn't make any sense, she loved him and that was all that mattered.

* **

Deidara sat on the kitchen's table, completely unaware of how he'd got there. His mind ran over the last night events. He'd seen Aline ran home, he had leaped down the building and found Otamu waiting. The liquor on his system had all but numbed his body and as soon as she came close he knew what she wanted, and he simply gave in. Aline's companion, Vaughn, made his sight grow red, anger and rage pump through his veins, his lips on her made his stomach sick, he wasn't thinking, he didn't want to. He just wanted to forget, because he knew it had been his fault. And he couldn't blame her for it, it didn't make sense either how much his body ached for any sort of comfort. And it didn't make sense how aware he was of how wrong this was, but he didn't care.

They got into her room, Otamu's lips urgent on his. She worked him out of his clothes before he could get the chance to breath, and before he knew he gave into the urgency, in need of the release that would surely come after.

He didn't spend the night over though. Just as soon as they were done his eyes caught a face. The most beautiful face he had ever seen, the one that made his heartbeat raise, and his stomach drop. One of the sketches Otamu had made of Aline was lying there, close to the bed. Her eyes were closed, but the pain was unmistakable, the pictured exuded pain. And he knew that pain was his making.

He left her then, picked up his clothes and looked back at the girl on the bed.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this."

And with that he left the room, without regrets or second thoughts.

The rest of the night he had spent on a bar, haunted by the pain of the girl on the picture.

He walked back to the Aktuski's headquarters, nervously. But when he finally got there, shortly after the sun started to claim the sky he found it empty. Aline's room was closed, and he resisted the urge of breaking in and taking her into his arms, and beg if he must to win her back somehow. Because there was something he knew, deep inside, knew it on the core of his bones.

He wanted her, he needed her like he had never needed anything.

The softness of her skin, her light brown, almond eyes… the warmth of her body…

He had stood outside her door for what seemed to be hours, a hand on the doorknob, but he couldn't make himself open it, instead he had walked to the kitchen and sat there, staring into space.


	28. Close to the flame

**28**

Sun was setting in, and his body felt stiff. The strong smell of wood burning was too intense, Deidara followed the scent, without really being aware of it. His feet led the way too a trail in the forest, and as he got closer to the fire he could see what had brought him there. Of course, there was only one person who shared the same love he had for explosions.

She was standing up, not too far from him, watching the trees burn. She started walking deeper into the forest, and he followed, curious to know where she was going, after a few minutes she came to a full stop and sat on a broken tree trunk. He came closer to her, aware that she'd recognize his scent, but she seemed oblivious to the fact. Self-consciously he sat next to her, facing the girl.

She could feel his penetrating eyes burn in her skin, but she didn't face him, not yet. Instead she forced her head to stay still and closed her eyes. Deidara waited anxiously, not really knowing what to do, or if he should say something. He watched her rest her elbows on her knees, and hold her head on her hands. Painfully slowly she opened her eyes and took her hands off her face resting them on the air between her legs instead, and staring deeply into them.

"I wish I knew what you were looking for… might've known what you would find"

"I've been looking for you, all of my life… I just… didn't know yet, un"

She turned her face to his, and watched his eyes intensely. His blue eyes reflected the fire on the sky, and she could tell he wasn't lying. But it wasn't enough, despite his honesty his actions had proven him wrong. She got up, unable to keep the charade on for any longer.

She didn't want this, she hadn't come here to find him. She was happy, numb and carefree, and he had to come and stir her blood, and make her bones feel soft and spongy. Nothing could compare to the feeling on the pit of her stomach every time he was near, and how she held on to each and every word of his, and could remember everything he ever had said with heartbreaking accuracy.

She had fallen in love, and it had felt exactly like falling. Effortless.

Once she'd walked a few feet away, she turned back to face him again, and she looked defeated.

"What is it exactly you want?" her tone was exasperated, worn out, but the hopelessness of her eyes was lovely.

"I want you, yeah"

"Why?"

She waited for his answer but it didn't come.

He didn't know why he wanted her, this lovely creature standing so close to him. Strong on the surface, but so completely fcked up and so utterly broken he couldn't help but stare in awe. Like a fallen angel, her skin shined with the moonlight, her eyes bright and watery.

"It's not enough" she said, nothing but despair and anger in her tone.

She shrugged and the subtle movement of her shoulders seem to shake all her walls down. He could really see her now, he could see the missing pieces of this girl, and all the missing figments of her soul. And he was fascinated. Her body moved slowly as she turned her back on him again and kept walking into the darkness.

"I love you!"

It was as if an electric shock had electrified her, and she turned back again, for a moment he thought he had got to her, but her eyes were wild and her face contorted.

" Where?!"

" What?!"

" Show me! Where is this love? I... I can't see it, I can't touch it. I can't feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words, but I can't do anything with your easy words."

His heart missed a beating and his body rushed up and forward, one second he was sitting on the broken tree, and the next his hands were on both sides of her face, she stood motionless, obviously taken by surprise, but fire burnt in her brown eyes.

His face leaned in to claim her lips and he felt her body take a step away, his right hand freed her face and went down to her waist, keeping her in place. She didn't react immediately, she didn't kiss him back. It was like tasting emptiness, she was broken in a way one didn't notice until one came close enough.

He let her free, and opened his eyes to find hers closed.

She let go a sight, as if it were her last breath, his blue eyes were alarmed now. What had he done? How deep could he have possibly hurt her? She didn't look alive, motionless, and pale into the dark sky. The wind blew clouds of smoke into the sky, so violently it seemed to want to tear the forest apart.

"What's wrong, un?" his voice was stressed, anxiety pulsing on his veins, furiously.

"I can't do this anymore. I'm leaving"

"What??! Where??! Why??!"

He could feel her hands push him away with all her strength, and when he didn't let go she opened her eyes.

"What do you want from me Deidara?"

Her eyes were like blazing fires, she was angry now, something he had never seen in her, violent, furious, raging, exactly like fire. And he didn't let go, mesmerized as he was.


	29. Right Here In My Arms

**29**

She looked into his eyes, growing angrier by the second. Why? How could he do this? He didn't know her, he couldn't want her, he wanted what he thought she was, but she wasn't that person. And honestly, she couldn't feel less like a person at the time. Broken, alone, damaged, invisible.

The look on his eyes was like daggers stabbing her heart, or the place her heart would be if she could only feel alive, nothing but true concern, nothing but honesty. Yes, he wanted her right now, but what would happen tomorrow? The day after that, a week, month, year from today?

"You already have someone"

Emotions flickered across his face, shame, disgust, and guilt. It had been true, he have had someone, but that person meant nothing compared to her, it was sad, but still true.

"I had someone, yeah. But you're all that I want."

She hesitated now, unable to see that one coming, so he did want her after all?

"Tonight, out of guilt maybe, but what will happen tomorrow? What if you want someone else tomorrow? You left the girl who loved you so thoroughly, and you broke the girl who took the fall"

"You weren't the only one to fall, un. I fell from the first time I saw you."

It was then when all her walls came down, when his cocky grin made it's way on his face. Brilliant blue eyes found hers and she caved in. As low as she was, she couldn't help but feel her heart beat itself out. Her lips found his in an instant, and she needn't anything else. They moulded into hers as if they belonged there, soft as satin, pulling her under and her heart couldn't help but stutter.

She felt her missin-nin lips curve upward as she gave into him without hesitation. It wasn't as if she didn't have second thoughts, but more as if her body acted on it's own. Searching for the fix she needed so badly.

So maybe she would regret it after all in a not so distant future, but right now here, as his hands met their place on her waist and she could feel his body pressed into hers like it belonged there she couldn't care, and she'd pay whatever price there was to feel like this forever.

He felt his knees grow weak, but they stood steady, her body heat burnt deep through the fabric and he could only get closer to the girl on his arms. It was like nothing he'd ever felt. His heart pounded so fast it was almost impossible to believe he was alive. But that's how he felt as if his he'd been in pain, as if he'd been underwater and only now he'd resurfaced and found what he'd always hope on finding.

Fire pulsed on his veins, so strong he could feel his insides grow liquid, he was melting, he was sure of it, but her lips never let him go and so they held him in place.

Time held no meaning, and the fire was so strong it was almost tangible. The wind blew with no mercy, but they didn't notice. It was only when a low shudder travelled down her spine that he parted his lips to look at her face. Little did he know it had nothing to do with the weather.

"You're cold, yeah"

She smiled at his starry eyes, clouded by passion, a sexy smirk curved his lips and her heart stuttered in response. Her cheeks turned crimson under the moonlight and he couldn't help but stare in awe. What could he have possibly done to deserve having an angel by his side? Suddenly he felt ten feet tall, his insides gone and replaced by something warm and powerful, unlike anything he'd ever felt.

Aline felt a little too self conscious having Deidara stare at her like that, it was only then when she realized the mess she would surely be. Post hangover, with what was left of yesterdays make up, hair like a nest, and possibly wild eyes. But it was the way he looked at her, like she was the most beautiful thing in the world. He let go a sight that he didn't know he was holding and sat both up, without letting go from her.

His light blue eyes looked torn, and her face brighten up in alarm. Maybe he regretted the words he had said… maybe he didn't really want her, he just didn't want her to be mad at him… Little did she know he felt unworthy of having her, after fcking up so many times she still was there, now. But what when she realized that she was much too good for him? Because she had to, eventually, and then she'd leave him.

"What's wrong?"

Her alarmed toned made him look at her, nothing but concern in her big brown eyes. He smiled, shaking away his thoughts, he didn't want to trouble her any further.

Deidara stood up and offer her his hand, she took it without hesitation. The headquarters was relatively close, but he didn't feel like walking, his left hand found the clay on his pocket and before she knew it they where flying through the forest. His strong arms holding her protectively by his side.

After the short ride he leaped gracefully to the floor and held his arms wide open, an invitation. She jumped to them, knowing she didn't really need them, but the gesture was comforting, and when he held her like that she felt complete.


	30. Trapped

**30**

He woke up before the sun came out. Eyes closed his arms reached for something… but there was nothing to be found. Alarmed he opened his eyes, and they adjusted to the lack of light. She wasn't there, she was nowhere to be found.

***

Aline was far away from the Akatsuki's headquarters, running as fast as her legs would allow, she let herself fall in the grass, completely spent. She could recall every touch, every kiss, his scent, the way their bodies moved as one… she got up and started running again, to keep the tears from streaming down.

***

Deidara knelt down by her bed, wondering what he had done wrong. He replayed their final hours over and over in his head. Nothing felt wrong, it all had come naturally, as if it was the way things were meant to be. He replayed their last kiss, he couldn't keep his hands off her, his mouth off her lips, she had rested her head on his chest, listening to the frantic beating of his heart, and hers pounded so loud he could hear and feel both off them in unison. He had closed his eyes, and breathed in time with her, waiting for their hearts to rest, but they didn't. He had held her closer to his body, so close he even wondered if he had been hurting her, but she never complained instead snuggled herself closer to him, if possible. He couldn't hold her tight enough, and neither could she.

He stood up, and started searching her room restlessly, several pictures where on the floor by the time he had finished, a couple of the Akatsuki, but mostly him. He was in every single shot, if not as background scenery right on the centre spot, this made his heart sank down. He searched frantically for anything that might told him where she was right now, on the left drawer of the bed he found something she had hoped no one would ever come across to.

A diary, he opened it right in the middle, and found her handwriting spread all over, he could tell she was a mess when she wrote it, letting the ink bleed out. His name was written across the page, as if it had been burn on there.

It was the words he knew she'd never say, everything was written there, how much she cared, how bad she hurt and he knew then that he was right. He didn't deserve her.

**_I'm not aware he doesn't care._**

Those were the last words she had scribbled on, the date read April 13th. She had probably wrote them down yesterday, the words wounded him deeply as if the edges were knives, she had it all wrong, and now she was gone.

He knew she cared about him, but never imagine she could hurt so much, she had taken nothing with her, it was as if she hadn't left. But he could feel she was far away, the window was open as wide as it would go, sun hadn't yet appeared, how long had he been asleep? How far could she go in the night? She was fast, but was she fast enough?

He got through the window gracefully, and wondered which direction running to. His birds would surely find her in no time, but she'd see them coming, and so she'd hide, her cloak laid there forgotten, just as he was.

What was she running away if not him? Would she go back on every word? Every touch? Every kiss… Because he didn't.

***

She stopped in order to catch her breath, wondering whether he'd realized by now she was gone, maybe it was the right thing to do, but it didn't feel right. Long forgotten memories burnt through her skull.

"_Why'd you leave, un?"  
"Problems with a male."  
"Boyfriend?"  
"Kindof."  
"And you left him, just like that, h'mm?"  
"It's the only way to leave. I don't love you anymore. Goodbye."  
"Supposing you do still love them?"  
"You don't leave."  
__"You've never left someone you still love, un?"  
"Nope."_

That was the first time they spoke.

Never leave someone you still love. It went against everything she believed, she hesitated, trees clouded her vision, and the sun hadn't yet come out. Everything was green, all around, the grass, the tall pines, not a ray of sun, not a hint of moon. For all she knew she'd been running around in circles.

Clouds of purple smoke started exploding not too far away from her, and adrenaline started pumping in. Poison, no doubt, someone fighting nearby maybe? She climbed on a tree to try and get a better view on her surroundings, ANBU ninjas were setting traps not too far away from her.

She decided not to push her luck any further and tried to remember where the nearest village was. Fearing she might look suspicious if found like this, in the middle of nowhere, she didn't know if someone might be looking for her, but news travelled fast, and word most be known, if found, she'd be recognized as the newest member of the Akatsuki.

There were a few things she had brought along, a small purple leather bag with her money, two beautiful katanas, a few soldier pills, and her little bottle of absynth. In her urgency of leaving she hadn't properly bagged anything, the things she carried she had brought because they were already stuffed in the bags of her pants… and the katanas were something she kept on at all times.

Voices started growing louder, and she stepped off the tree, something didn't feel right, panic made her limbs grow weak. She could hear a river not too far away, maybe she could get there, hide somewhere nearby…

She started running towards it, south from the sound of it and the voices stopped.

It was dark again when she woke up. Her wrists and ankles burnt, she tried to move and found herself unable. It was then when she realized she was blindfolded.


	31. Cold

**31**

Something started burning inside, wounded her with every heart beat. It clouded her senses so badly everything else was locked out. The wounding binds on her wrists, ankles… voices sounded far away in the distance, the soft whisper of ghosts of other worlds… it was as if her limbs had strings attached to them from the way her body started being swept away. A blurry of movement, she was barely aware of… burning inside. She hadn't tried to open her eyes yet, comforted in a way of being blindfolded, she didn't want to see her broken body, floating away like a rag doll.

Something was pressed against her chest, weighting her down, suffocating, she couldn't feel the air on her lungs, she couldn't find her organs, it was as if the fire had melted her insides. The fire escaped from the inside, like liquid through her pores, it felt different now, solid. She stopped floating, landing with a soft thud into something wet. Only now was she aware of the voices, not being able to concentrate long enough on them to figure out what they were saying.

He found her broken inside a cave, her white body laying limp in an unnatural position, he reached for her without thinking. Her body's temperature was all wrong, much too cold… her lips were a strange shade of blue, black circles under her eyes…

"She's not breathing…"

Aline wasn't sure where she was, or how long she'd been there, she couldn't find her body in the pool of numbness, barely aware of the pressure on the center of her body, something touched her face, caressed her hair… defeated, she wanted to open her eyes, but her eye lids were much too heavy…

That voice, that touch stirred something inside her, bringing back some of the meaning life had ceased to have. She knew she had to do something, say something, anything, but her body was still lost and she couldn't find her voice..

Deidara was knelt besides her body, his right hand securing her face firmly, his head buried in her neck, careful not to place any of his weight over her, he couldn't hear her heartbeat, he couldn't feel her breath, but she couldn't be dead. He knew that deep in the core of his bones. Because if she was dead his heart would stop beating, because life would have no meaning unless she was alive.

He locked his fingers on hers with his free hand, breathing the scent of her neck, his lips were close enough to kiss her delicate skin. He felt the slightest of pressure in his hand, something burst inside of him and he let go a sight realizing he had stopped breathing for a moment, his head felt light but she was alive, and nothing else mattered.

"Aline?"

He knew he could hear her, why didn't she say anything?

"Aline, love?"

Adrenaline started pumping in his blood, she was alive but it was wrong, he'd never seen her so fragile, so broken, so cold…


	32. Revelations

**33**

He didn't sleep that night, gently caressing the hair of the girl in his arms, his cloak was wrapped securely around her, keeping him warm. He knew she was getting better because the color had returned to her cheeks.

Deidara held her tighter, he didn't bear closing his eyes, he had got so close to loosing her, he couldn't bear the idea. He knew she was important, he just never realized how much. The world held no meaning without her and that was something that he wasn't expecting to feel. It was this girl the one he wanted to fall asleep with and wake up next to… forever.

Forever.

He smiled. Sasori's words hitting him like a rock to his heart. It was something he didn't believe in, forever. But it was only in that fleeting moment when their lips collided, when he felt the warmth of her body, when he saw her smile and that sweet scarlet color rush to her cheeks… that was… art. Something he wanted to feel forever. He wanted her for eternity, he wanted her to color his word, to share his life with. He wanted to know her, really know her, and he wanted her to know him to.

He had never considered the possibility of "forever" because it was something he hadn't experienced yet. He couldn't miss forever because until then he hadn't wanted it. It was only when he saw her face, and breathed her air that he felt complete, like he had found something he didn't knew he was looking for.

Suddenly forever didn't sound so bad. Suddenly forever held a new meaning, infinite possibilities unfolding before his eyes. And to think he'd once considered lovers foolish, laughed even at how much power they allowed the objects of their affection upon them. He knew women weapons well, having been loved by so many despite his fairly young age. How he'd broke them when they saw him weary of their bodies, weary of pretending, of loving without truly loving.

It was different now, this angel in his arms, so beautiful he couldn't help but be mesmerized by her, even now fragile, broken. His bloodstream was crystalline, like fire sweet, warm pulsing through his heart.

He wanted her to make an honest man out of him. He wanted her to be his, and only his, forever.


	33. The Overwhelming Ecstasy Of Love

It's 6:02 am. Which means a) I haven't had any sleep and b) I've had too much to drink  
So pardon me f this is rather a) Not as good you hope and b) lacking inspiration.  
For those of you who read this my eternal gratitude.  
I will upload soon, tonight it my Muse gives me the chance, but for tonight I should get some sleep...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

**32**

It was half past midnight when the sculptor finally realized it was safe to move, having healed the worse of her injuries he cradled her tightly, like an oversized doll. He never seemed to get over her porcelain features, big, light brown eyes, small nose, full lips, how her upper lip jutted slightly, like that of an infant, her lightish, mahogany hair falling messily over her face…

He never had to remind himself how delicate she was, even when she was such a skilled fighter, her features just gave her away. But no matter how much her looks gave away she was still a jukebox of nonsense, part of her charm as she would say. How he missed her voice! It filled the air with music when she spoke. He remembered creeping into her room while she showered, just to hear her sing. Delicate and complex harmonies on languages he didn't understand, creeping back out as soon as the melody stopped, and the soft blush on his cheeks, the only evidence that revealed his mind wanderings.

He could imagine her only too well now, wet hair dripping luscious drops on her angels face, her body…

She hadn't moved an inch from the time he'd cradled her, as sun started rising and he entered to the solitary place he'd made a home of. He placed her on the bed, carefully, a glimpse of devotion on his aquamarine eye. She didn't move on her sleep as he was very much aware of, this suited him just fine. Stillness was a gift not many possessed, and for an artist it unfolded unlimited display of details. Under different circumstances he would have seized this opportunity to print her into paper, but right this moment he was content just with staring at her, and amazed of how his eyes could just not have enough.

Deidara watched the play of colors in her skin, how the sun traced the patterns he lusted to make, but he knew better than that. Instead he recoiled in his wandering mind, it was safe now to replay the last night they have had together.

Soft moans had escaped her lips, intensifying as he worked his ways on her skin, chaste kisses on her bare torso, whimpers and cries of delight… he remembered the last word she'd spoke only too clearly.

"I love you"

Love, a grin escaped his lips, hadn't he always say love was but a fleeting emotion one felt when the right buttons were triggered? But what did he feel for the girl on the bed if it wasn't love? The most powerful emotion he'd ever felt…

He wouldn't have been conscious of the hours tickling by if it weren't for the shadows embracing her body. She didn't move in her sleep, but he couldn't help feeling restless.

"Deidara"

His head jerked up, moving with alarm from her body to her face, her eyes were closed still, but her lips were opened and then something happened that made his heart sink.

Her hands had been resting on her sides, like a ragdoll she hadn't opposed to any sort of arrangement he had make in what he thought would be a comfortable position. Light red flames exploded from her skin, licking and burning the skin on her palms.

"Deidara" she repeated, and the flames intensified.

Her eyes opened and the flames extinguished.

She felt disoriented, stiff, but not broken, she felt safe as soon as her eyes met a blueish-gray shade. His alarmed eyes made way for his signature smirk, and it was like all the air had come out of her lungs. She remembered everything, her last night with Deidara, the wandering on the forest, the fight she'd lost. She was sure she was dead now, what she didn't know how Deidara had managed to get himself killed. Yet he was smiling, the smirk that made her heart flutter, and her heart beat intensely. It was silly, she didn't know much from death, but dead people didn't have a heartbeat, or at least she thought they didn't.

He watched the play of emotions on her face and rushed over to her side, caressing her face.

"You're safe, un"

She was dead, of course, of course she was safe but her heart ached, she'd killed them both. What she didn't know was why didn't make sense. His hand felt warm on her cold skin. She tried to sit up but her body felt too heavy, Deidara's right arm ducked under her waist sending electrifying pulses to her skin, he embraced her so tight her heart galloped into a new strange way. She breathed his scent, sweet and strong, once, twice she let it intoxicate her senses.

She wasn't dead, she should've known better, she let relief enter her body as the warmth of his sank deep into her. An overwhelming ecstasy rushed through her frame, the overwhelming ecstasy of love.


	34. Tsukyomi

**34**

Aline was looking out the window, hazy brown eyes out of focus. She stretched her body as far as it would go, it had been two weeks since her last close encounter to death, which all things considered wasn't half bad for a ninja.

Deidara wasn't home, which was no surprise, but it was a fact that made the rest of the evening boring, hours dragged whenever he wasn't around. She made her way to the kitchen between groans and a lazy walk that somehow still managed to look attractive. She slumped into one of the stools.

The headquarters was a pretty peaceful place, that is when crazy murderers weren't trying to kill each other, but it was Sunday, and as far as she knew there wouldn't be anyone all day. She let her head fall on the counter and started sulking for being the only one home, normally this wouldn't upset her, alone time was always good in her book, but it also meant her mind was free to wander.

Deidara had been sort of vacant lately, nothing had changed, but she could feel the change coming. When they were together he was the loud, witty, artistic ninja she knew well and loved, making as much use of that sexy smirk of his as he could, for her view and pleasure. But then he'd be gone, face screwed up in concentration, if perfect could be screwed up that is. Something was bothering him, and he wouldn't say what it was. That alone was upsetting, she wasn't used to him being silent, it wasn't like him and this made her edgy.

Someone came in, but this wasn't what startled her, it was a presence she was familiar with. She leaped down from the stool, not really feeling like being social for the moment. The missin-nin was going to her room when something caught her arm. She looked up to find a pair of red eyes staring back at her.

"Hey" she said, cutting free from his grip. What was it with him?

***

This couldn't go on.

***

It was a few hours past midnight, but she was used to bad sleeping habits, they fit her well, when her artist was around. But he was gone again, and she didn't know when he'd be back.

She sprawled across the bed, wishing hours ticked faster, wishing the sun would come out, wishing she could hold his hand and stare at the sun, it's beautiful colors intoxicating their senses…

It was a weird dream, surreal as most dreams are but that wasn't was strange, it was black and white, shades of red here and there, but she always dreamt in color. She was standing there, motionless, a deep voice made her look up. It wasn't the voice she hoped her dreams would bring her.

"Come here"

She hesitated, as far as dreams went this felt rather real, another dimension, but a tangible one, he waited. Slowly she made her way to the man, it was weird how her subconscious mind could store the exact same look Itachi had given her that morning. Slightly desperate but controlled at the same time. Of course king of composure wouldn't insult his impeccable mask, not even in a dream. She stepped closer.

"You're beautiful"

Long, pale fingers touched her cheek, and words failed her, his touch felt much too real, too consistent, but there wasn't any color, just grays, blacks and whites, and the tinted red irises she knew only too well. He leaned in, placing his face just an inch from hers, towering over her but his eyes held no questions, he kissed her cheeks, her nose, her forehead, once, twice, saving her lips for last. Something crawled in her stomach, worry and disgust, guilt. She kissed him back but only for a second, then his hand freed her face and found its way to the hollow of her back.

She shook her head, and the violent movement woke her up, it was just half past five. Her throat felt sore, and she still could feel his lips on hers, making her stomach twirl. It had just been a dream, but that wasn't comforting, and she still felt rather uneasy.

Maybe her subconscious wasn't even bothering with surrealism anymore, why had she kissed him back? Maybe she secretly wanted to kiss him, no, that wasn't quite why exactly. Itachi and her had always have a weird relationship, they respected each other, he actually seemed to even care at times about her, and maybe even she could feel some sort of admiration towards him, not romantic in any way of course, not that he wasn't handsome, because he was… but she did not desire him. He didn't make her feel ten feet tall, or her heart burst into fire, or her body feel light and in flames all in one. No, there had to be a different reason. However she had to admit the kiss wasn't at all repulsive, it felt utterly wrong, yes, but somehow she still managed to enjoy it?… not that she'd ever admit it of course.

Truly awake now she went back to the kitchen to help herself a glass of water, mentally kicking herself for over thinking silly matters of the gray matter she couldn't control, but as she drank and her eyes adjusted to the lack of light she realized she wasn't alone.

Itachi was there, standing in the middle of the darkness, and a strong sense of déjà vu took over. It was as the air had been sucked out of her lungs, he was… smiling?

"Bad dreams?" he asked, as if that was a private joke, her eyes opened wide, anxious, embarrassed and sick.  
"It was real" she said but it wasn't a question.  
"All the same" Itachi replied, his voice monotonous, as if they were discussing the weather, for some reason, this bothered her to no end.  
"How dare you?!" she felt sick, but mostly embarrassed, it was worse than if he had ran into her without clothes, which he had, living with 10 men left little to the imagination, specially Hidan who couldn't seem to wear a shirt for his life, but her dreams? That sick, twisted private space in her mind, truly private, anger and shame ran fast through her blood.  
"You ruined my life"

His voice had that matter-or-fact edge to it, and this was an answer she wasn't expecting. What was that supposed to mean? Stupid weasel jerk with his fcking Sharingan, and petty family drama, she felt truly nauseous now. She let anger replace confusion and shot him a murderous glare.  
"You'll get over it"

And with that she stormed away.

.


	35. Failure by Designer Jeans

Her hand reached out for what was still unseen. Sun-tinted hair smiled at her touch. She was awake. Her fingers locked into the carefully plated locks of hair, pushing his face down. Being unable to tell if this was a dream she decided to make up the most from what she had. And the lips moving in synchrony with hers were good enough.

Soon enough she forgot about her lungs, breathing in the scent she missed so badly. Her fingers sank in his skin, pulling him closer. Like fire licking her body, tangible electricity plastered on his hands as he found her waist. Soon she was locked inside strong arms.

Her eyes opened, taking in the view displayed in front of her. Her kuinochi, tearing apart what was left of her clothes. Her hands melting into his stone-shaped chest, carved out from the gods, her lips making its way down on it, stopping only to taste a particularly spot on it.

"If I had known what was waiting for me at home, hmm"

She lifted her body up to meet his eyes. His expression was soft, content, his lips curved into his cocky smile. He sat up with her in his arms and threw out what was left of her clothes. Aline broke his black shirt and the mesh over it in response.

"I happened to like that shirt, yeah"

"I happen to like you better without it"

He didn't argue back, instead he crashed his lips with hers and flipped her over so that he was on top. His left hand capture both of hers and pulled them above her head.

Night didn't hold enough hours to satisfy them.

This time she didn't fight the feeling that took over her senses whenever Deidara was near. Instead she embraced it, delusional or not when he held her like this the world didn't make much sense anymore. And right now, she felt that he wanted her, that was all she needed to breathe.

There was so much of him! His blond hair, down ticking her skin, every inch of his body, his hands. His lips, three pairs of lips on her body, knocking her out with every touch.

The world only made sense when he held her like this. Nothing felt more real. Nothing made her feel so alive. It was impossible to think such perfection even exist. Everything she ever wanted rolled up in one. Like he had been designed for her, and her alone.

It wasn't just the way his glorious body seemed to fit perfectly with hers, or how they could carry on a conversation without words. It was the way he made every little thing about the world feel like it was going to be alright. How his lips grew slightly apart and his eyes stared in awe every time he made something go bang! How every little thing of life made him slightly amused, things no one else was capable of perceiving. How careful and dextrous his hands were while working on his masterpieces. How talented and gifted he was. How he was more than a magnificent artist.

He was a work of art himself. A masterpiece. An unfinished work of art.

And by some miracle he wanted her just as bad.


	36. Realization

**36**

Deidara tossed in his bed, sprawling across it trying to find some peace of mind. It didn't come. It was appalling how all his priorities seemed to have fallen behind, making room for one sole creature at the very top. His inspiration, his muse.

He tossed around a little more, stretching widely before deciding sleep was a lost cause, without her anyways. He didn't like how much he needed her soft, warm body against his to feel home. But that was how it felt like when he gazed deep into her eyes. It was only then when he felt like he belonged, that life had meaning.

There was no sense if there were no colours to taste. His normally cleaned up room was a mess, pieces of papers tossed on the floor, unfinished sculptures here and there. How could he explain how deep in he was, how much he needed her to breathe, the release. It didn't use to hurt before, being alone. He didn't like it.

The missin-nin ended up on the floor sitting in front of a mahogany box. Inside where the only ties left that bound him to the man he once was. His first sculpture, an old photograph of his mother, and a ring; a hand-me-down. It was as if everything he used to be collided on the man he was right now. He felt the ring accusing him from inside it's wooden haven. It's lonely diamond judging every step he'd taken. He closed the box.

He didn't remember much of that life. He didn't really think he'd changed, he'd always been an artist, and there was nothing else he wanted to be other than that. His one ambition was to become the best artist there ever had been. When had that changed? When had he ever desire something other than that? What had changed?

He knew the answers to all the questions, but admitting it, right then to himself, changed everything. Yet, he knew nothing had really changed, he always had known, ever since he first locked eyes with her. Something had changed inside him. She completed him in a way art never had

It was only hard to admit because he'd never felt like he'd missed something. Not until he found her. Not until he tasted her lips. Not until he made her burst into fire, he couldn't seem to have enough of their time together. He couldn't bear not touching her, knowing how easily she fell apart under his touch.  
Unlike every other woman he'd ever pleased she was different. He died with her and rose from the flames, like clockwork. Every heartbeat, every breath, every moan, in perfect harmony. All carved deep somewhere inside.

He knew it was the mistaken perception she had of herself, and how much she underestimated what he felt. He also knew he couldn't blame her, he knew how badly she was broken, and every single piece he'd destroyed.

How could he even hope she'd trust him? He had been lying to himself, given into a release that didn't came, hoping even as he knew it was mostly ludicrous that this girl wasn't the missing piece of his soul.

Because then what could he possibly have to offer? A fugitive life? one stained of blood and treason everywhere? She deserved more, she deserved everything.

Realization hit him as his head hit the window pane. A strange buzz running through his bloodstream.

Nothing had changed, he still aspired to be best artist there had ever been. He didn't particularly enjoyed fighting, he'd considered leaving numerous times. Bound only out of honor to a place where he didn't want to be. A place he didn't want to belong to.  
In another world, could he have gotten the girl through his art?

The continuous tap of his head on the window made him only more lost. There was no point of even considering such possibilities. He wasn't in that world.

But now that he knew just how much each part of his soul ached without her, he had no choice. He needed her like he needed fire and even more. He wanted to wake up next to her for every single day of his life, knowing that by some odd chance of fate he got to keep her. That she was his and no one else's.


	37. Running to the Edge of the World

Aline took the last hit of the night, hoping with all her heart Morfeo would take some mercy on her and allow her to sleep. It was rainy as if often was on June, but the rhythmic tapping of the rain on the window didn't hold any comfort.

A deep sight escaped her lips. It was cold, much too cold for her taste, no comfort came of being curled up under heavy thick blankets, cold seeped inside her like air in her lungs, making it hard to breathe, making it hard to keep the pieces from crumbling down.

Another sleepless day, another dreamless night. Another night alone.

She wanted him more than she needed him, and she needed him more than anything in the world. So much time had passed since they had been together it all felt like a distant memory, a fading dream of a stranger.

Broken as she was it was perfectly clear for her that she was damaged goods. Her insides were so empty it was hard to believe there still was a heart to break. She couldn't feel her pulse, just the aching, but if her heart was broken she'd be dead, right?

Being half alive wasn't what she wanted to be. And what was the difference of trading a fugitive lifestyle for another? She had found home in his arms. Destination was insignificant, it could be anywhere, it could be nowhere just as long as he was there.

They'd race the dream together. Hope started building her heart up, making it aerostatic, making it hard to think. Entirely unconscious she got off the bed and started pacing around the room, what time was it? What day was it? How far was she from her heart?

She could feel the ground on her feet, the wind whooshing as she bolted through trees. Running to the edge of the world. Running to stay alive, knowing each step just took her one step closer to him, nothing else mattered.

Together as one against all others.

***

Deidara stood in the middle of the forest, with no particular memory as to how he had got there. This had become a sort of ritual, walking all the way through the night willing for peace that never came, and as the sun started to rise he'd realize he'd been looking for her, again.

Wandering through the forest was pointless, as he was well aware of, but it always felt like he was wasting time whenever he wasn't looking at her face and staying in motion was the only thing that made time make sense anymore. She'd been gone for what seemed like forever, what if she'd left forever? What if something had gone wrong, what if she didn't come back?

Surely he'd know if something had gone wrong. No doubt everyone would celebrate if there had been an Akatsuki down.

His heart sank, cringing away from the pain that came with the thought.

He could see her face even from behind his eyelids. How many times had he shaped her face with his fingertips? How many times had he cupped her cheek just to feel the softness of her skin, the warmth of her blush. How many nights had he woken up with her laying next to him and yet it wasn't enough. It never ceased to amaze him how that beautiful creature curled to his side, and rested her head on his chest…

He knew her face better than his own, her full lips, her big eyes, the softness of her features, how her upper lip sticked out ever so slightly.

It wasn't until he woke up surrounded by the darkness that he realized he had fallen asleep. Loss of time was what he craved for the most this days, because ever second without her felt like a waste a time. He got up, and stretched knowing he should get going, knowing she wouldn't be there, knowing it was very unlikely to fall asleep again.

Reluctantly he made his way back to the lair, it was very possible he'd find it empty again and for once that bothered him a little. He was feeling lonely enough without really being alone, the main entrance was open and he dragged his body through the living room and into the main hall where the rooms were.

Deidara started removing his shirt even before he even reached his room and the ring he'd all but forgotten about fell to the wooden floor, he picked it up and a shot of longing ran through his body.

The girl with golden eyes he just couldn't resist. She was his hope, she was everything he'd hope to find, everything he wanted but just didn't know yet… Fragile didn't even came close to describing how he felt.

He opened the door without bothering to turn the lights on, and as his eyes adjusted to the lack of light he saw a small shadow that wouldn't disappear. A small figure sitting on his bed.

And everything fell back into place. And he couldn't help but have ecstasy crush him. The fire in her eyes grew deep

Time stopped and his heart hammered on his chest as he crushed his body to hers, kissing her much too urgently as if he was afraid she'd disappear.


	38. Toi et Moi

**38**

The chase was on. They needn't speak to say what they wanted the most, they knew. Deidara knelt down on one knee, holding her hand, and placed the ring on her left ring finger. A playful smile crossed his face, the one he knew she couldn't resist, but he didn't get to see her expression for a pair of sweet lips crushed on his. Urgent, yet delicate.

He let them fall on his back, and a soft growl made it's way on his throat as her lips danced to his neck.

"So I take that as a yes, yeah"

"Yes!"

"A life on the run, h'mm"

"A life with you is the only one worth living"

So that was how it felt like to be insane. In love and 10 feet tall. Dreaming wide awake… the truth was life without one another wasn't much of a life at all.

Where they went didn't matter much just as long as he was certain that she knew exactly what it would imply, he felt the need to be reassured.

He didn't want to be another let down in her life. He wanted to make sure she knew exactly what this would mean. Running away from everything they knew, running away from all their allies, their loved ones.  
Deidara was well aware of what he was getting into but, he didn't know for certain she understood.

"You're sure about that, yeah" he managed to say out loud, her last words still ringing on his ears, the ecstasy still running on his veins.

"I am" she said and every doubt was erased from his mind with just one glance at her beautiful brown eyes. He took a long breath as he managed to pull away of the intensity of her look

"I love you, I love _you_. _You _drive me,_ you _are my life. It's like the world doesn't even exist without _you_"

He didn't need any further reassurance. She was the one he couldn't live without. He knew exactly what she meant with those words.

"If ever there was someone to belong to I…"

She was caught off by a soft pair of lips crushing on to hers. Why she had been so afraid before of she didn't know.

Right then it felt like everything clicked together.

Him and her, like a lunacy fringe. Like the cards had fallen in all the right ways. Escape from the world hand in hand.

"I-love-_you_" his soft lips whispered as they made the way down to her collarbone.

And it was then she knew there was nothing else but him. That life held no meaning without him, that his strong arms shaped around perfectly around her body, like she had been designed for him.

Walking on air, that's how it felt like being next to him. Gravity didn't hold her anymore. This man, his smile, his voice, his eyes shaped the world. To fall across the universe, a feeling unlike no other. His lips on her skin, burning it, making it his. If ever there was someone to belong to it would have to be him.

Him and his eyes of blue fire.

This is how the story ends.

This is how all stories should end.

A happy ending. So at least one of us gets it, because even if it's all in our heads, it's still as real as anything else.

Hopeless romantic as I am in my own, real story I didn't run to him, and he didn't come for me. I let the cold have me, the flames consume me until there was nothing left to burn. Like a black star.

He disappeared with all his promises. I disappeared with all my dreams. Trading my fix for another, no asbestos lips to kiss my hand, no words to blow me away.

I guess a part of me did die, but I rather think not. Maybe it wasn't the time, maybe it wasn't the moment, maybe so if it's ever found.

I don't believe in giving up, but it's hard to hold on to something never held. Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder. Absence eats away all the pieces of your heart until you forget how it's like to feel like a human.

It's then when you know it's over. To let go and live.  
Forget each others names and just walk away.

Celebrating something. Forever lost. The idea of being in love.  
Sin. Flesh. Memory.


End file.
